Grapho-Persuasion:Mastering the Pyramid of Persuasion potx

If you believe that someone’s attitude and facial expressions gives you more information about what that person is really thinking, than what he or she is saying, why don’t you believe i

Mastering the Pyramid of Persuasion (Confessions of a Marketing Man)

By Victor Semo SMASHWORDS EDITION PUBLISHED BY: Jamin Press at Smashwords

Copyright 2010 by Victor Semo This book is available in print at most online retailers

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Praise for Grapho-Persuasion

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“I like to know who I am dealing with, and this book helps me to reveal what they are hiding from me

Fascinating!”– Geoff Burch, Best-selling author of Irresistible Persuasion, BBC Television Presenter, and

voted Business Communicator of 2011 by the Speechwriters Guild

“Savvy persuaders have a new powerful technique in their hands!”– Rintu Basu, Best-selling author of The

Persuasion Skills Black Book

“Grapho-Persuaded? I was You will be!”– Alun Thorne, Birmingham Post

“Victor Semo challenges you to consider that a person’s handwriting tells you about their personality, the key to how best persuade them Dozens of samples and examples are given as well as the use of handwriting analysis

in the scope of a simple but elegant model of persuasion Grapho-Persuasion is well worth your reading and

utilizing!”– Kevin Hogan, Psy.D, author of The Science of Influence

About the Author

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Being an academic and business professional, Victor Semo is a ‘pracademic’ As well as being a graphologist, he is also

a professional marketer and a Doctoral Researcher in the art of political persuasion (lobbying) and Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) at Wolverhampton University, UK When he was 21 years old, Victor took a break to setup a fashion-engineering design business, then licensed all his ideas, before going back to the normal professional-student life that he loves so much

This Parisian-born has lived in different countries and now, occasionally, writes thought-provoking posts on his blog at the Birmingham Post, the most influential business newspaper in the West Midlands,

This handbook was originally a personal, handwritten letter and manual to my sister Ghislaine

I wrote the handbook for her in order to help her be more in control of her environment, and stop being a victim of stress and anxiety

Although now publicly available, it remains, for me, a personal letter Throughout the text, you will still find mention of

“Ghislaine”, “sister”, “brother”, and some personal stories and notes for Ghislaine displayed in this grey rounded box:

When you read the contents of a rounded box, I am addressing myself to you Replace the name “Ghislaine” with your name, and replace the words “sister” and “brother” with‘[my] friend.’ As someone who is taking the time to read this book, I consider you a friend Follow this persuasion trick throughout the book and you will feel that I have written

it for you.

Please be advised that:

-All the techniques and theories presented within the book have been used by men and women throughout history In academic

circles, many are considered unreliable because results of empirical studies conducted to date are inconclusive Since scientists cannot prove or disprove these theories 100%, it is safer to consider them unproven ‘junk science’ My sole contribution as a

‘pracademic’ is to bring the school of persuasion and the school of graphology together

-All the businesses, places and names mentioned are real unless mentioned

-If you are an expert in persuasion, you might say that more persuasion techniques could have been included, and I would agree with you With your experience, whatever your profession, you also know that more does not necessarily mean better and this handbook does not attempt to be an encyclopaedia Some techniques are just too complex to put into practice, therefore it is better to present here those that are easy to ‘carry and deploy’

-There may be mistakes, both typographical and in content You are therefore advised to use the text as a general guide The purpose of this handbook is to educate and entertain only

-You may not like what you read, especially if you are sceptical by nature and prefer to see before believing If that is the case, I ask you to be fair; try putting it in to practice first, then feel free to criticise Criticism and debates are good, I welcome them; they keep you intellectually healthy

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A Persuader’s Prayer

Introduction -Objections from the Audience

How to Use this Handbook

Why Write this Handbook?

Handwritten Letter to Ghislaine

The Creation of Grapho-Persuasion

Influence ≠ Persuasion

PART ONE | WHAT IS GRAPHO-PERSUASION?

PART TWO | THE PYRAMID OF PERSUASION

2.1 Create Trust and Comfort

2.2 Be a Good Talker Create Consultative Conversations

4 The Techniques

4.1 Blur Perception

4.2 Make Spending Abstractive

4.3 Make Them Focus on Loss

4.4 Provide Guarantees

4.5 Introduce a Decoy

4.6 Colour the Choice

4.7 Get the Door Closed in Your Face

4.8 Put Your Foot in the Door

4.9 Lower Resistance with Flattery

4.10 Speak and Capture Attention

5 The Secret Recipe

5.1 The Secret Recipe of Subliminal Persuasion

5.2 How to Make a Hypnotic Speech

PART THREE | GRAPHOLOGY

6 Emotional Aspects

6.1 Emotional Responsiveness and Expressiveness

6.2 Emotional Depth (Pressure in Writing)

7 Social Aspects

7.1 Talkativeness, Secretiveness and Lies

7.2 Pride, Vanity, Independence

7.3 Letter Connections

7.4 Spacing

7.5 Letter Sizes

A Request: Help this Book if you Like it

Appendix A - Playing with Statistics in Advertising Appendix B - Deliberate Practice

Appendix C - Influencing in a Digital Age (bonus chapter)

Notes

References

Index

A Persuader’s Prayer

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Peitho, goddess of the arts of persuasion,Give me strength to appeal to the public

I shall not be a product of my environment,

My environment shall be a product of me

Because morality is personal and not societal,Indistinguishable are persuasion and manipulation

Of my successful and failed attempts,You and I shall be the sole silent witnesses, victims and judges

Who don’t try won’t ever know

* * * * *

Introduction-Objections from the Audience _

Whenever I do a seminar or talk about Grapho-Persuasion, I usually get these two comments:

1.“Handwriting analysis does not work It is a quackery”

2.“People don’t write anymore with a pen and paper, but with a keyboard and a computer screen They handwrite occasionally only to take notes or send greeting cards”

And I always have to answer these two questions:

1.“Does it really work?”

2.“If it works, is it really relevant today? People are more and more online”

My answers to critics, sceptics and other Jeremiahs of this world are always the same.

Answer to Comment / Question 1:

“Like any student, do your homework Try first, then we’ll talk Here is my number and email address to send me your feedback” This is my usual answer when I don’t have time to expand further When I can, I explain:

Graphology (i.e handwriting analysis) has been around for almost four hundred years and the question remains, is it a science, a pseudo-science or an art? The science has demonstrated that an individual’s handwriting is unique, like their DNA1 Scientific studies remain unclear as to whether it is possible to establish a correlation between someone’s

personality and his or her handwriting Handwriting analysis is a combination of scientific principles and the subjective interpretation of the graphologist, who can be victim of bias As with any doctor that reads a patient’s X-ray, a

handwriting analysis’s report is only as good as the impartial graphologist who does it

As a pracademic and due to the high risk of bias, I see graphology like advertising and marketing: not entirely scientific During the application of scientific principles for a marketing campaign or the handwriting analysis of someone, at a certain point these principles will be subject to the personal interpretations of the marketing director, or graphologist Their interpretations and implementations will determine the success of the campaign, or analysis

Body language is not a science If you believe that someone’s attitude and facial expressions gives you more information about what that person is really thinking, than what he or she is saying, why don’t you believe in graphology?

Businessmen and politicians say that you can learn about a person’s personality and the way they do business by the way they play golf Science cannot prove this myth, but if you are one of those who believes it, why don’t you believe in graphology?

Fingerprint analysis includes a degree of subjectivity, exactly like handwriting analysis If you believe in fingerprint analysis, if you acknowledge that fingerprint analysis confirms your unique identity and does not attempt to predict your future actions, why don’t you believe in graphology?

Graphology confirms your unique personality today, not yesterday or tomorrow It does not predict the future If you believe that you can influence and persuade someone that you’ve known for years because you know their personality (e.g family members or spouse), why don’t you believe that you can do the same with a stranger, as long as you know his

or her personality?

Do you believe in behavioural economics? Many persuasion techniques used by salespeople and marketers are derived from behavioural economic theories Do you believe in behavioural psychology? Graphology is a form of behavioural psychology theory:

Behavioural Economics + Behavioural Psychology = Grapho-Persuasion

Think about it for five minutes (and during that time let me get a glass of water) Still sceptical? All right, I continue Here are few phenomena that science still cannot explain why they work, we just accept them2:

1.Placebo effect: the placebo effect is a persuasion technique usually used by doctors and propagandists (it is not covered

in this book) Why does it work?

2.Yawning: Why do we yawn? Why is it contagious? (i.e when you see someone yawn, you tend to yawn too)

3.Female orgasm: in contrast to the male orgasm, there is no evidence that the female orgasm plays a reproductive role, so why does it exist?

Scientists are still debating these questions If you ask, some will give you an honest silence as a response Some will say your question is a floccinaucinihilipilification, why get a headache in trying to understand all the Whys and Hows of the universe It works, just accept it Others, the obdurate Jeremiahs and pompous scientists, will give you a verbose answer full of scientific jargon that makes their explanation appear very intelligent and therefore plausible But if you scratch beneath the surface, you soon realise that it is nonsense

Illusion is the best weapon of marketers, you should never make up your mind on what you read, hear and see only As a pracademic, the best advice I can give you is to be critically open minded Listen to both sides of the argument, analyse, make your own tests, and finally decide which side you will join But if you are like most first year students who believe they know everything and anything in life, well, you already know what to do: close this book and keep following the herd

(Two minutes please, let me grab my glass of water and during that time the Jeremiahs can leave the room ) I conclude:

On a daily basis, advertisers and marketers influence and persuade you to buy products and services They know some aspects of your personality, behaviour and preferences, but only as part of a segmented customer group You are just a number in a herd of a certain size (the size of the segmented target market) and marketers, working with their

communication agencies, try to move the herd in a certain direction Grapho-Persuasion allows you to do the same, but on

a one-to-one basis

Look at the handwriting of strangers (suppliers, clients, job interview candidates, etc.) on a note or cover letter, or at their signatures on a document and you will get a snapshot of their personality Once you know the personality of that stranger, even a small portion of it, you are now like a marketer with a snapshot of the psychographic profile of the ideal customer

If you are a good marketer, you will know instantly which marketing/persuasion techniques to apply on that target If you are a bad marketer, or just a young graduate without work experience, you might know the techniques in theory, but you will fail in their implementation Then you will need to find a reason to explain to your boss why you did not succeed, e.g you were not well that day, the target market was not right for the product, the wrong location, the weather, the sales team,

etc You may blame the marketing techniques used, saying they were not good enough and you knew they were just

quackeries Next time, you will try something different

Grapho-Persuasion is a methodology of persuasion based on handwriting analysis As long as people write and need to meet face-to-face, the methodology will remain valid Because it implies a degree of subjectivity, like the interpretation of

an X-ray, the analysis of someone’s body language or how they play golf, the accuracy will remain debatable but not the validity

You still don’t believe that Grapho-Persuasion works? All right, my time is up and I have to go Try it first, then

let’s talk again Those who don’t try won’t ever know Here is my email to send me your feedback or constructive criticism after you’ve tried grapho-persuading someone: mailto:victors@glocalpen.com Twitter:

http://www.twitter.com/victorsemo

P.S: Don’t forget: intent is not synonymous with outcome It takes time and practice to get a black belt in Judo As with

psychiatry and the martial arts, the principles of Grapho-Persuasion are easy to understand and easy to implement, but as a whole, they are complex to master You won’t succeed without training and practice

For further thoughts on this general comment/question, please read my article: “Deliberate Practice” in Appendix B.

Answer to Comment / Question 2:

I agree that social media is not a fad and people use a keyboard and computer screen to communicate more and more Hardcore fans of the Internet might even suggest that, in the future, people won’t be handwriting letters and greeting cards, they will have digital personal diaries and notebooks, instead of the paper version Maybe However, I am certain that people will still

handwrite short notes and sign documents with a pen on a sheet of paper

Handwriting will never die Offline meetings will never die Technology cannot satisfy those two intrinsic needs that we have to express ourselves individually, like singular artists, and meet and touch other artists The need for physical contact

is part of human nature The online world cannot replace the sensation of touching a piece of paper or someone

emotionally close to us, or the sensation we have when we receive in a postcard or birthday card in the mail with the handwritten notes of a friend or family member To paraphrase Robin Dunbar, the renowned academic at the origin of the Dunbar’s Number theory: “Like an image, at anytime a touch is worth a thousand words” A touch is priceless

Visual and physical contacts convey more emotional meaning than words That’s why teachers remain reluctant to the idea of online courses to educate students You are reading my words right now and understanding them, but if you could hear me reading them to you while we look into each other’s eyes, those same words would have more emotional impact and meaning to you Many book authors during a book tour read a chapter of their book to the audience, personalising its delivery, and helping the audience to fully understand the meaning of their words, implicitly and explicitly

It was said over the last ten years that webinars (web conferences) would replace face-to-face meetings and revolutionise the travel and event industries The revolution has still not taken place and the ‘journaling’ industry remains healthy The greeting cards market has not shown any decline in the last ten years and the notebook market, led by brands such as Moleskine, remains steady Tony Blair handwrote his memoirs, J.K Rowling handwrites her manuscripts, and this book you are reading was

initially written by hand too

People continue to go to exhibitions and take airplanes, cars or trains to meet their clients face-to-face Good networking and business deals are still made on the golf course, during a lunch, while having a drink at the bar of a hotel, or in a gentleman’s club

The telegram, the telephone, the fax and emails did not kill offline meetings, these technologies just made them easier to ordinate, as does online social media, such as Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, and as will any future communication tools in a hundred years to come I am confident that handwriting will never die Savvy marketers and persuaders never believe the hype

co-and follow the herd for fear of stco-anding out in the crowd Like academics, they research co-and analyse the other side of the coin themselves and only then, agree or not agree to follow the herd.

P.S: Don’t forget: the quality of a relationship with someone is proportional to the amount of time you invest in that

relationship Technologies, like the phone and social networking websites, are communication tools that prevent a

relationship from breaking down, especially when distance is an issue Yet, if you don’t meet that person offline from time to time to do things together, for example going for a drink, sooner or later the quality of your relationship will degrade You and your friend could become more acquaintances than friends3

For further thoughts on this comment/question, and the strategies to consider for influencing people online, please read the

free bonus chapter: “Influencing in a Digital Age” in Appendix C.

* * * * *

How to Use this Handbook

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Although this book will probably be more beneficial to people in a sales or marketing role, the intended audience is for

everyone interested in improving their persuasion and negotiation skills in their social and business circles

It is designed so that you can open the book at any page and find valuable tactics to use immediately The aim is that you master the Pyramid of Persuasion and the basics of Graphology, then put all this knowledge together to be able to grapho-persuade anyone you meet subconsciously, because the more you do something, the less you consciously think about how you’re doing it

* * * * *

Why Write this Handbook?

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A good question It is not why, but how did it come about The answer is overwork Between 2007 and 2010, I

was (and still am) very active, physically and intellectually With something always on my mind, I constantly wrote down

my ideas on any piece of paper I could find One night I could not sleep, too many thoughts running through my head The steam had to be evacuated, so I grabbed my fountain pen and started writing

During this ‘Jerry Maguire’ moment, one of the chapters was my knowledge on Grapho-Persuasion that I had been

developing for the last three years This knowledge stemmed from my academic studies, personal experiences and those

of the practitioners that I came into contact with in the fields of public relations, marketing, sales, business management, lobbying, psychology, human resources and graphology

I had not realised that I had accumulated so much knowledge on persuasion until that night, when I evacuated the steam

by laying everything down on sheets of paper I kept writing for days until I was no longer in a rush to buy more ink for fountain pens, and I left those notes on the side

A few months later, my sister had some issues and we had a long telephone conversation Her problems were not so bad,

if she had re-framed the situation she was facing, but she did not know how to: she was stressed The next day, I thought I should give her the best gift that I had: my knowledge of Grapho-Persuasion I polished the notes that I had drafted during

my ‘Jerry Maguire’ moment, typed them up, printed and binded them and, for the first time, noticed that I had written a manual I mailed it to her Ghislaine appreciated the gesture and liked the manual One day, while at the library, I found in

a book an adapted story of the Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley:

The Star Thrower

Once upon a time, there was a wise man walking along a beach where thousands of starfish had been washed up on the shore He noticed a boy picking up the starfish one by one and throwing them back into the ocean The man observed the boy for a few minutes and then asked him what he was doing The boy replied that he was returning the starfish to the sea otherwise they would die when the sun is up and the tide is out

The man scoffed, asking how saving a few, when so many were doomed, would make any difference whatsoever? The boy smiled, picked up another starfish and threw it back into the ocean, and then said politely, “it made a difference to that one” The puzzled wise man returned home, deep in thought A few hours later, he returned to the beach and spent the rest

of the day helping the boy throw starfish into the sea

I had never heard of that story before As someone doing academic research on Corporate Social Responsibility and

‘green capitalism’, I found the moral of this beautifully written story to be profound; each one of us can make a difference and every little bit helps I thought about the handbook I’d given to my sister which she had found helpful, and the idea that other people could benefit from it appealed to me And there we go!

* * * * *

Handwritten Letter to Ghislaine

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My Dear Ghislaine,

I hope this letter will find you well

I guess you are surprised by the document contained in the Christmas gift box My present is earlier this year

It took me many, many, many days to produce this manual It is unique and only for you Why? Because I understand that you are under constant pressure and must perform at 200% As sang by James Brown, ‘this is a man’s world’, but it would

be nothing without superwomen like you

There is no better gift than education With it, there is nothing in life you desire that you cannot obtain This manual is my invaluable gift to the professional woman, wife, mother and sister you are I’d like you to stop stressing for anything and everything and be more in control of your environment To help you, I’ve put together all my knowledge that I have gained on ‘Grapho-Persuasion’ It is one of the outcomes of my PhD thesis I say one of the outcomes, because Grapho-Persuasion is not really what my PhD thesis is about (it is about CSR and Lobbying) My supervisors won’t be happy to learn that I wrote a manual on persuasion instead of CSR!

But as a doctor yourself, you know that in research, your initial research questions can take you somewhere you had not expected Grapho-Persuasion is one of the mountains that I’ve been climbing for the last three years and I am sharing this view with you

In the manual, I gave you some tips, techniques and my secrets (not all, of course!) Like a lobbyist ‘working’ on a

politician, once you understand the psychology of human behaviour and know your strengths, you won’t worry anymore about not being able to turn the tables, whoever the person you’re dealing with Your boss shouts at you? A client bothers you? My nephew is not happy because you’ve bought the wrong cereal box? Let them get excited and stress Keep the smile, lose the battle, win the war, which is ultimately the control of your environment

My dear sister, I know how busy you are, so you can be certain I will not offer you something that does not work and waste your time Superwoman, just try What do you have to lose to ‘grapho-persuade’ your friend or your boss while having lunch with them? They won’t even notice!

This ‘vade mecum’ - Latin for ‘go with me’- manual is easy to carry in your handbag and organised in easy-to-read sections You have no excuse From time to time, open a section, read it and practice

Your brother,

Victor

* * * * *

The Creation of Grapho-Persuasion

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Persuasion, influence, power, political manoeuvres, political philosophy, lobbying, hypnosis, the art of rhetoric,

psychology, Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) and ethics: these are some of the fields I’ve been analysing as a Marketing Manager and a part-time PhD research student since 2007 The more I researched how corporations influenced governments, and the tactics and strategies used by lobbyists to persuade policymakers to agree with their clients’

opinions on public issues, the more interested I became in finding an answer to the question: How to effectively influence people?

In the 1970s, Non-Governmental Organisations (NGOs) who lobbied for the environment and more CSR in boardrooms were considered as demagogues and anarchists by business leaders and policymakers Yet, by the 1990s, they had turned this around, earning the respect of those same people They had persuaded corporations and governments that the concept, People, Planet and Profit, was better than Profit only How did Greenpeace, Friends of the Earth and Christian Aid, to name just a few, spread their “green” ideology and make it mainstream? It took a few decades, but they succeeded in the end In 1975, if a chief

executive stated publicly that the environment was none of his concern, he was applauded by his peers and the comment would have been largely ignored by the public Today, if one dares make this sort of statement in public, they know they will be reviled and condemned by both the public and their peers What a change in just thirty years!

To understand how corporations, NGOs and governments influence each other, as a pracademic, I needed something

more scientific than the techniques advanced by Dale Carnegie in his classic book How to Win Friends and

Influence People I read all the academic papers and books on power and influence that I could get my hands on I

studied psychology, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), body language techniques and the methods used by experts in the art of seduction and dating, nicknamed ‘Pick-Up Artists’, and how they seduced women I studied the sciences of behavioural economics, irrational behaviours and communication techniques used by lobbyists to

persuade government officials I studied the methods used by the best sales and marketing people I read countless stories of successful businessmen, entrepreneurs, historical political figures and strategies of warfare

I attended seminars on these topics but by 2009, having read so many books and talked to so many experts, these events did not teach me anything new Many times, when listening to the speakers, I felt that I could walk on to the stage and finish the presentation myself

One day, at a workshop on Assertiveness and Presentation Skills, I was stunned to see the speaker take out a book and recite the contents He then told us that, for more information, we should go out and buy the books on a list he was

passing around! When you pay to attend a workshop, you expect to hear something new, to garner something of value to take with you at the end You don’t want to see a speaker, who’s been paid £1,000 for a half day workshop, only to watch him stand up in front of you and read a book, especially if he’s not even the author!

What surprised me most that day was how many other delegates found his presentation new and refreshing For me, what

he was saying was obvious and could be found in books at the library by anyone interested enough in the subject As a doctoral student conducting research, I’d done little else for the past two years

After that disappointing workshop, I came to the conclusion that there is nothing new being shared by all these

professional speakers and consultants It is the same old meal, recycled and put in the microwave It is presented to people

as a different dish but the food (knowledge) is still the same These consultants have mastered the art of selling

yesterday’s food every day, and many dare call themselves ‘gurus’ Peter Drucker used to joke that people call them

‘gurus’ because the word ‘charlatan’ is too long!

I analysed all the number one bestselling books on my shelves and at the library, gauging the content and how it was presented, i.e layout, template, the number of pages, references and the bibliography My instinct was right: in the last twenty years, no new, innovative theory and no new thinking in business management sciences, public relations, marketing and personal development sciences has contributed to a discovery on consumer behaviour or business strategy to the extent that companies systematically implement it, or that it is taught in all major universities

Business strategies and tactics used online are not new, they are adapted from the offline world A report from

sourceforconsulting.com reaffirmed this opinion According to the report, having something new and distinctive to say remains the biggest challenge of consultants to date and, as a result, the primary difference lies merely in the planning and execution of the consulting services they provide4

There is, it appears, four categories into which authors can be divided Within the first two lie the true gurus who are making significant contributions to knowledge; the remaining two categories contain the media titled or self-designated gurus who present old, established theories and practices in a different light Many times, these are the consultants who write books just to establish their reputation as experts in their fields, since writing a book reinforces your credibility

Category 1: Academic researchers building on the work of their peers, developing new theories and principles, then

successfully diffusing their work to the general public (e.g Robert Cialdini and Michael Porter)

Category 2: Professionals drawing upon their years of work experience, developing principles they have observed

working in all business situations (e.g Jack Trout)

Category 3: The Re-framers Authors who re-package and present the work of the first two categories as if it was their

own Their packaging looks more attractive, their writing style and presentations are entertaining, and the book publisher creates promotional hype to make the content appear new and refreshing

Category 4: The ‘Referenceurs’ (re-framing combined with référencement (listing)) Authors who re-package and present

the work of those in the first two categories, focalising on making it more entertaining and interesting for the reader It is often historical research and contains numerous references For example, Robert Greene, co-author of the best-seller, The

48 Laws of Power, is one successful writer in this category He presents well-established concepts, difficult to prove scientifically they all work in any given situation, in an easily readable fashion (This book you are reading now falls into this category, with a zest of category 2)

Beyond that, no other books or academic papers on the science of persuasion shed any new light, and I saw no sign of

upcoming, new and real gurus The problem was that, like most academics, I had become an expert by having read and studied all the books on the subject that were out there I was now an expert-scientist and I have reached a plateau in the learning curve I was a Master in the Science of Persuasion The only way to grow my knowledge and move on to the next phase, that is, become an expert-artist, a Master in the Art of Persuasion, was to stop reading and start acting I’d need to practice every day and, by trials and error, keep sharpening my persuasive skills.

So I sailed off on a journey to become my own Master, armed with a notepad and a pen in my pocket where I could jot down my thoughts and observations from my experiences

I would approach women in the street and flirt with them; I would go to coffee bars and observe how people interacted with each other, noting how they communicated I would analyse all the newspaper articles, marketing brochures and product labels that I came across, trying to understand why they were written and presented in a certain way, trying to understand the subliminal impact, if any, created by the combination of the words used

In face-to-face or telephone conversations, I would listen to and observe carefully the other person: their walk, their vocal intonation, their smile, how they shake hands, the look in their eyes, the attitude and gestures, the grooming, what kind of watch was worn including whether it was on the left or right hand, what kind of shoes and had they been polished, which jewellery was visible and hidden, the choice of briefcase or handbag I even noted the fabric of the clothes and whether they’d been pressed or not, how long the other person could hold my eye during the conversation, their posture on a chair, the accent and richness of the vocabulary, etc All these little details had escaped me previously but now I sought them, like a detective, especially little details They are clues to the personality and state of mind of your interlocutor, which opens a little bit more the path to successful persuasion

I started developing a system based on my personal experiences and called it The Pyramid of Persuasion.

Note: Except the Cornerstone, there is no need to master one layer before moving to the next

But in my quest to become a successful expert-artist, something was still missing One day it dawned on me To truly and

successfully persuade someone, the greatest advantage lies in knowing the person That’s why a queen wields greater influence over her husband, the king, than all the senators put together

When you’re pitching a new idea, your pitch is more likely to be successful if you know the person to whom you are presenting You will have some instinctive knowledge as to how best approach him or her You will know what to say and

how to say it Therefore, it was necessary to swiftly get to know the stranger inside and out I needed to get into the head and heart of that person as fast as I could NLP would help, but it would not be sufficient on its own

One day, while perusing psychology books at the library, I stumbled upon a book on graphology (i.e handwriting analysis) As

an academic, I was naturally sceptical since handwriting analysis had been criticised for the lack of empirical studies that would validate it as an exact science Yet, the book noted graphology had existed for several hundred years, since the first book published on the subject, and it was still popular in France, Germany and Israel Companies used it for recruitment purposes, alongside psychometric testing Anglo-Saxon countries despised handwriting analysis Puzzled, I decided to give it a go

From my own tests conducted on a small sample of people I knew, graphology had an average accuracy of 80%

Assuming that no scientific study can predict the behaviour of animals, including human beings, with 100% certainty because we are all creatures of emotions and those emotions drive us, I started trusting graphology It gave me enough information on someone’s personality, I realised, to better influence that person

To improve my knowledge of graphology, I knew I had to learn from an expert Oddly enough, call it luck or destiny, I met a man one evening at an event His name was Owen Williams, a sixty year career expert called upon regularly by individuals, companies and the police A former president of the UK International Graphoanalysis Society, Owen was a true expert-artist in handwriting analysis! He gave me his business card and few months later, when I felt that it was time for me to become a certified graphologist, I called him The problem was, at eighty-three years old, he was retiring Since

my motivation was not to make money but a personal interest in graphology, he accepted to teach me I was going to be his last student

I loved the private lessons with Owen; a fascinating man who always had captivating real life stories to illustrate a lesson He constantly said: “I have been doing this for sixty years! Sixty years!! If it did not work, it’s been a long time I would have given up! Bring me anyone and I’ll tell them who they truly are! People in this country [UK] don’t believe it, but they don’t know that the police call upon us [graphologists and forensic graphologists] regularly!”

I blended together the sciences of persuasion and graphology and called this new theory Grapho-Persuasion.

Grapho-Persuasion is the use of graphology to understand someone’s personality and the incorporation of this

information in to the techniques you use to persuade that person.

In academic circles, there is an old joke: “Copy from one source and it is considered plagiarism; copy from many sources and it is considered research” Well, my dear Ghislaine, I do not pretend to have created something really new here,

Persuasion is what came out of my research Critics, no doubt, will have plenty to say about it, but the Persuasion theory – and I’m still improving it – is not a science, it is an art Like psychotherapy, no empirical research will establish that Grapho-Persuasion works with complete accuracy because, as I pointed out earlier, we are all emotional beings Grapho-Persuasion was the missing piece of information that I needed in order to progress along the learning curve and find the answer to this query: How to successfully persuade?

Grapho-I don’t think of myself as an expert-artist in persuasion yet Human beings are complex emotional creatures, difficult to

understand I am still sailing

Victor Semo, August 2010

* * * * *

Influence ≠ Persuasion

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You could say:

(1)“I have influenced her view of this issue and succeeded in persuading her to act (on this occasion)”

(2)I have influenced her view of this issue but failed to persuade her to act (on this occasion)”

(3)“I want to persuade people willy-nilly now, and influence people for generations”

This does not sound right:

(1)“I have persuaded her view of this issue and succeeded in influencing her to act (on this occasion)”

(2)“I have persuaded her view of this issue but failed to influence her to act (on this occasion)”

(3)“I want to influence people willy-nilly now, and persuade people for generations”

Put simply, the difference between persuasion and influence is that influence is latent, omnipresent and implies positivism only Persuasion is a subset of influence and implies a short-lived act that can be positive or negative

You could say: “I have persuaded her to act but failed to influence her view” But, if we analyse this sentence, the

understanding here is that you have persuaded her against her will This is not ideal

* * * * *

PART ONE WHAT IS GRAPHO-PERSUASION?

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The art of persuasion resides in your ability to operate on someone’s psychology to make him or her behave in the way you desire Research5 has shown that the behaviour of an individual at a specific time is determined by the sum of three stimuli:

Behaviour = personality traits + person’s mood (state of mind) + the role playedFor example, how Maria reacts to the news that she has won the lottery prize depends not only on whether she is

introverted or extroverted, shy or egocentric, but also if she is sad or in a good mood, and if she is home alone or in a meeting with her boss

If you follow this behavioural science formula, you will agree that persuasion works best when you know the

personality traits of the person A mother and a wife are arguably the two people most persuasive and influential in a man’s life, because they know him inside and out They know the personality of their son or husband and therefore, they know what to say, how to say it, and how to act when they are attempting to persuade him

As stated by Sun Tzu in his classic, The Art of War, if you want to win a war without bloodshed, “know your enemy and know yourself” The science of graphology teaches us how to discover personality traits; the science of

persuasion teaches us how to influence the person’s state of mind Put them together and you obtain the theory of Grapho-Persuasion

Grapho-Persuasion is the use of graphology to understand someone’s personality and the incorporation of this

information in to the techniques you use to persuade that person.

Sigmund Freud argued that human behaviour is irrationally driven by emotions Thus, you stand a greater chance of

persuading people when you have identified their dominant personality traits Because your personality, your grooming

and vocabulary are unique, like your handwriting and your signature, graphology gives us a better understanding of the individual without requiring the relationship of wife, mother or friend

Normal Persuasion: A Two-Step Process

Grapho-Persuasion: A Three-Step Process

* * * * *

PART TWO THE PYRAMID OF PERSUASION

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1 The Cornerstone

There are three fundamentals of persuasion that you must never forget when interacting with anyone Forget one of them

and you will open the door to anxiety and stress

1.1 Fundamental 1: Your emotional expressions are contagious, affecting everyone around you and many others.

We are social creatures and creatures of emotion, the people around us are affected by our moods The emotions we display tend to be caught by others, resulting in a convergence of emotions between us and our interlocutors

When you are happy, people see and feel it by the sound of your voice, your gestures and facial expressions, and they pick up your happy mood Even someone in a bad mood finds it difficult to remain grumpy when talking to someone with a smiling face It is emotional contagion that turns all citizens hysterical when the local football team win the European championship.The next time you are in a bad mood, observe how those around you react Some people will “catch” your anger and respond to you in the same angry, cold voice you displayed Observe how, when you lower your voice, they will imitate you subconsciously

The contagion effect of social networks

Obesity, smoking, ideas and emotions, like happiness and sadness, are contagious and spread through our social ties, note

Dr Christakis and Prof Fowler, authors of several research papers on social networks and their influences on people6 According to Christakis and Fowler’s findings, how happy you are depends not just on your choices or actions, but also

on how happy your spouse and next door neighbours are It also depends on how happy your friends’ friends are, even if you don’t know them It is the same with your weight or your smoking and drinking behaviours, they are influenced by people directly connected to you, and those separate from you by two and three degrees, i.e your friends, your friends’

friends, and your friends of friends’ friends.

The spread of influence and emotional contagion follows a ‘Three Degrees of Influence Rule’ which states that everything

we do has a noticeable impact up to our friends’ friends’ friends, and our attitudes, beliefs, emotions and behaviours tend

to be influenced by people within three degrees of our social network

In the 1960s, Stanley Milgram observed that we are all connected to one another by an average of six degrees of

separation While this observation relates to how connected we are, the Three Degrees of Influence Rule relates to how contagious we are For example, when you are in a bad mood, you affect your spouse, your parents’ spouse and the best friend of your parents’ spouse

Let’s say you are directly connected to ten people — friends, work colleagues and family members (one degree), who themselves are connected to ten distinct people (two degrees), and each of them are also connected to ten distinct people (three degrees) You are therefore connected to one thousand people Now, how influential you are to make these one thousand people smile depends on how emotionally contagious and persuasive people in the network are But it all starts with a smile on your face to affect the ten people you are directly connected to

1.2 Fundamental 2: First impressions do and always will count.

Have you ever heard yourself say, “I don’t like him”, minutes after you’ve met someone for the first time? You don’t know why and you cannot necessarily explain why you feel the way you do What happens so that you cannot explain it rationally with words? Well, instinctively, your subconscious has gone through a ‘question and answer’ process and did not like the sum

of all the answers When you meet someone for the first time, you instinctively behave like any animal Your mind

subconsciously tries answering, as fast as possible, five universal questions that will determine your attitude when facing a stranger:

1.Dominance: is this person active and dominant or passive and submissive? (i.e which of you is the alpha

2.Danger/Protection of Self: is this person crazy/unpredictable or sane/stable? (i.e you size up the other person to

determine who is the stronger of the two of you in the event of being attacked)

3.Intelligence/Control: who is the more intelligent of the two of us? (i.e is this person easy or difficult to manoeuvre?) 4.Friend: is this person agreeable (warm and friendly) or disagreeable (cold and distant)?

5.Support: can I rely on this person if necessary?

Your first objective in persuasion is to always lower the resistance of the target by influencing the five answers reached by the subconscious mind It is important to get it right at the first encounter as it will then be easier to be trusted and

subsequently liked in the future If a person does not like you at the time of your first encounter, you will have a hard time convincing him or her later on that you are a nice person That’s why first impressions count Always

TIP: When you meet someone for the first time, ask at least two easy questions that will force them to respond positively

Subconsciously, they will lower their guard and, to a certain extent, like you, especially if the response forces them to laugh Don’t talk about the weather, be original!

The £10,000 Glass of Water

Real names have been changed to maintain privacy

Peter Walker, Communication & Marketing Director at Lang Contractor, shared with me a story that happened to him some time ago

“We were reviewing our budget for the year and were doing some media planning My assistant [Alex] contacted the advertising department of the Birmingham Post, Construction News, Express & Star, Architect News, etc to get their prices

“The salesperson [Julie] at one particular newspaper was tenacious Once she knew we were shopping around to buy advertising, she kept calling Alex every single day We could have put her photo in the dictionary next to the word

a closet

“Julie pitched us her products It was the first time I had met her She was an aggressive sales person and I have to admit, she was good We agreed on an advertising package and left I was walking back to the car in silence with Alex when I lost my temper: “She did not even offer us some water! No tea!!! She just took our money!”

“How come, when I visit you in your house at 8.30 in the morning, I have £15,000 in my pocket to spend and you do not

even offer me a glass of tap water??!!! I was upset by how we had been treated There was a clear difference of culture between the editorial and sales departments at that newspaper.”

“In the end, I paid for only two adverts, and I put this saleswoman on my blacklist I never returned her phone calls or responded to her emails again.”

“Victor, being received in a broom cupboard was fine, we could have lived with that But, come on, at 8.30 in the

morning, we took the time to travel there, I left my bed earlier for her, we arrived and our host had no hospitality

whatsoever No glass of water?!! That was the last straw.”

Julie lost £10,000 in revenue from Lang Contractor that year, and certainly more the following years, because of a glass of water What are the morals of this story? Many The most important, I believe, is that first impressions count Always

1.3 Fundamental 3: Persuasion is seduction Seduction is selling Persuading is selling (yourself first).

Whatever you sell, you sell yourself first Unless you have a monopoly on the marketplace, if I don’t like you, I won’t buy your product but the one from your competitor So you need to seduce me first

Persuasion is a form of seduction Seducing is selling and selling is seducing Most people don’t realise that the steps followed by salespeople to sell a product are similar to the ones they follow to win someone’s heart

IBM repositioning in the healthcare sector

In 2005, IBM’s sales to hospitals and health insurance providers were mainly IT servers and other data storage products Healthcare professionals did not have much consideration for the brand IBM To enhance its image and differentiate from the competition, the company designed and implemented a three-step strategy:

1 Define who you are and why you’re different (positioning in the mind of customers): The company produced a report entitled “Healthcare 2015: Win-Win or Lose-Lose” The report presented the challenges facing the healthcare industry

and IBM’s vision of how it could achieve a better position within 10 years

2 Build credibility with though leadership: The IBM executives presented the report at all the major industry conferences

Their plan was to not sell IBM’s services, but simply discuss the industry’s issues and suggest solutions By doing this, they demonstrated that IBM understood, better than any other IT services provider, the issues faced by the healthcare industry Slowly but surely, IBM became a thought-leader and a brand that healthcare professionals felt they could trust The healthcare industry increasingly invested in IBM’s consulting services and products

3 Consult and close the sale: IBM’s sales team reviewed and improved their sales pitches, selling better-tailored solutions

after defining a client’s true current and future needs They ensured that they remained informed about what was

happening in the healthcare sector, and willingly shared that knowledge with all their stakeholders

By 2009, the result of this patiently executed strategy exceeded IBM’s expectations IBM had become a trusted brand and major player in the healthcare industry, with revenues in the IT healthcare sector above the industry average

Now, see how the steps followed by IBM are similar to the steps followed by the so-called ‘Pick-Up Artists’, men who specialise in the seduction of women and pick them up, mainly in public venues

The results for any company or man that follows these steps are quite similar:

-The company enhances its brand and increases sales, with the feeling that it is better than its competitors

-The man adds a new name to his conquest list (one more ‘sale’) and an ego boost, as he feels that he can seduce any woman, anywhere and at anytime

Yes, selling is seducing and seducing is nothing more than selling yourself, like any other product

Tips to increase your success in the sales-seduction game

A man or woman can have money and be as attractive as Jennifer Aniston or Brad Pitt, but unless they have some of the attributes listed below, anyone they meet will only be impressed by their wallet and pretty face Neither are sufficient to build a

strong and lengthy relationship.

Four personal attributes that seduce women

1 Confidence: by displaying ease and comfort in his body language

and behaviour, women will feel secure in his presence

2 Humour: Laughter is the shortest distance between two people, said Victor Borge It lowers resistance and helps the two

people sharing a good moment together like each other more

3 Ambition: showing that he has some goals and knows where he is going in life reassures her that he is not just someone

spending his days in front of the TV

4 Authority: he should be an expert in something, listened to and followed by others, or be the boss of an organisation Being

the boss creates halo effects, one of them is being perceived as an intelligent person (you can’t be an idiot if you are the boss and people do what you advise or ask them to do) Women are attracted to men with authority and a following because in the (urban) jungle, the strong male is more likely to provide security if danger arises

Three personal attributes that seduce men

A Man falls in love through his eyes.

A Woman falls in love through her ears (Woodrow Wyatt).

1 Physically attractive.

2 Independence: a woman that shows she can take care of herself is attractive, but if she displays too much independence,

men get scared A man likes to play the role of protector If he feels a woman does not need his help, he feels useless and his ego gets bruised

3 Confidence: like independence, a little dose of confidence is good Too much and it scares men.

Five desirable social skills in both men and women

1 Good conversationalist.

2 Good listener who doesn’t try to fix every problem (listen quietly,

with lots of eye contact)

3 Sober (don’t drink, or occasionally in moderation).

4 Good dresser.

5 Good dancer.

If you watch the TV series, Mad Men, you will notice that men and women used to dress with style and elegance in the 1960s

What was considered formal business attire at the time is seen as dapper today What was common fifty years ago is rare today,

and what is rare always gets noticed When you see a man wearing a hat and a handkerchief with a nice suit, whether you consider him to be a dapper or not, does not change the fact that you noticed that man in the crowd and you appreciated the effort he put in to his grooming His grooming positively influenced your perception of the man (at least until you started a conversation with him) In the same way your grooming makes an impression on people, so does your handwriting When you receive a handwritten letter or postcard, you appreciate the efforts of the writer and consciously, or subconsciously, you put that person in a special place in your head or heart You will remember that person, especially if he or she has a beautiful

penmanship

Here is a tip to sell yourself more easily by making a subliminal impression on people and standing out from the crowd

instantly: Since many people dress the same when in a group (e.g in the office) and do not handwrite long letters anymore, adding a personal touch to your clothes with a few accessories and sending handwritten letters to people will give you an advantage They will help to get you noticed and be the ‘purple cow’ in the herd

* * * * *

2 The Rules

To get along with anyone, there are three basic rules to follow

2.1 Create Trust and Comfort.

Always make the other person feel important Always.

As illustrated by the success of TV reality shows (Big Brother, X-Factor) and social media platforms (Twitter, Facebook), ego-publishing appeals to people It’s the last stage of ‘self-actualisation’ in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: narcissism and the quest for the celebrity status You are the star, you are the expert, you are an interesting person and people visit your online profile to see what you are up to

It is not surprising that on the cover of Time magazine in 2006, the ‘Person of The Year’ was YOU

See cover here: http://www.bit.ly/gp9sCR

People crave attention and they are not interested in what you think or like For all these reasons, the topic of conversation

you have with anyone should always be centred on them and what their interests are Make the other person feel

important by talking only about what interests them

2.2 Be a Good Talker Create Consultative Conversations

Try to stand in their shoes and see things through their eyes.

In business as in life, you don’t get what you deserve but what you negotiate, claims Dr Karrass, a worldwide reputed pracademic in negotiation techniques Arguably, it’s difficult to put yourself in the shoes of someone else It is not easy to be stoic After all, we are

emotional creatures and assume that others see things from our perspective: I am right, you are wrong In order to be a good

conversationalist, you need to:

-Use ‘you’ instead of ’I’ as much as possible during the conversation.

-Direct any conversation to a subject related to them or what you know interests them, and then shut up Just be quiet and listen Do not interrupt your interlocutors when they are talking about something they like

-If you disagree with what your interlocutors are saying, or they object to your opinion, never tell them point blank, “you are wrong”

because from your interlocutors’ perspective, it is always, “you are wrong and I’m right.”

If you want to persuade, you must ask questions Influential people persuade not by telling, but by asking questions Keep asking questions in such a way that makes them explore their own reasoning and find the error in it themselves

TIP: Avoid using the word ‘but’ when you talk because you will sound negative and your interlocutor will focus on the

second part of your message, forgetting everything you said before the word ‘but’ For example, compare these two sentences concerning a prospect who presents objections to buy your product You can reply one of two ways:

“I agree with what you’re saying Others have said the same thing but they’re now using our product Let me explain why ”

Help them to get what they want

The old saying that ‘knowledge is power’ is more than true when you dissect the sentence Information gives knowledge, which in turn gives power under the ‘influence’ form The influential person creates information, including facts and rumours, and passes it on to others

Information has always been the most valuable and tradable currency in the world throughout history You can trade information for anything Stock traders, like spies, know it very well You can win or lose a war depending on the

information you have People trade their money to obtain the benefits they've heard about a product or service

There is a myth that is regularly told to students, job seekers and sales people: “If you want something, it is about who you know.” That is wrong The truth is, as all the top lobbyists and headhunters will tell you, it is not about who you know, it is about who know you and what you can do (for them) The world might know George W Bush, Jr inside-out because of the press, yet only a few people have access to him You know him, but does he know you? If you are looking for a job, you may know all the business executives in your city, but none of them will answer your telephone call or give you a job if they don’t know you personally, and don’t know what you can do for them

Persuasion requires technical know-how; influence requires continuous access To get people to follow your views, you need to show them constantly how what you do, your ideas or the information you provide will help them to get what they want (e.g more money, fun, a better job, a higher social status, etc.)

Lobbyists, the experts in the art of political persuasion, sell to their corporate clients an access (e.g access to policymakers, access to government reports prior to official publication, etc.) If and how the information is used is not important to the information providers as long as the receivers believe they will benefit from it

According to Dan Poyter, a consultant pioneer in self-publishing and author of 120 non-fiction books, the information providers (the consultants) tend to make more money than the clients they advise7 Information trading is more profitable than selling the product or service manufactured and sold with the information provided to the manufacturer

To find out what a person wants, all you need to do is to ask!

“Mike, what do you like to do? What is important to you in life, beyond making money?”

“Joanna, what are you working on? Maybe I can help or I know someone who can help you.”

* * * * *

3 The Laws

Following our distinction between persuasion and influence, these techniques are more influential than persuasive Let’s call them The Laws of Influence They have been established by the academic researcher Dr Robert Cialdini

3.1 Law of Reciprocity

Reciprocity is the key to every relationship

If you are like most, you buy extra greeting cards at Christmas so that you can quickly respond when you receive one from an unexpected source You feel that you must return the favour When you receive a gift from someone, whether you know them or not, you will feel indebted to them and unable to resist returning the favour in-kind, either now or at some time in the future Put simply, reciprocity is the fuel that powers the wheel of society and helps individuals live, work and band together against common enemies I watch your back; you watch mine

If you and I meet in a bar and I buy a round of drinks, whether you like me or not, whether we are friends or strangers, you will feel sufficiently obliged to pay for the second round Either that, or you will feel some level of indebtedness that you must or wish to repay Additionally, repayment must be proportional If you then invite me to dinner at your home, I will probably feel indebted to you because a dinner at your house is worth more than few drinks in a bar That’s why at Christmas, if you receive an unanticipated gift and you don’t have one to give in return, except a greeting card, you might feel embarrassed Your greeting card does not make up for the gift received which has a higher monetary value than your simple card

Calabache, 1/2

I was in Ghana for the wedding of a friend of mine While going around a market, I was approached by a street vendor who introduced himself as ‘Calabache’ The young boy insisted that I buy one of his necklaces but I was not interested After five long minutes of following me, he said: “Ok, I leave you then Before I go, take this necklace for free It is my gift to you Next time you come to Ghana, remember me.” When I heard these words, I knew I was in trouble The Law of Reciprocity was now

in play and it would be difficult to resist

I shook my head, “no”, saying that I did not want the necklace, even for free and he should keep it Calabache placed it in

my hand, closing my fingers around it I sighed I was really in trouble He refused to take it back, insisting it was a gift I tried repeatedly to give it back but he refused “Keep it,” he said, “it’s my gift to you to remember me.” He paused “But if you want to give

me something for my gift — anything — I would accept.” He smiled He knew he had me Naturally I would feel bad walking away with his gift without giving him something in return

“I have no money,” I said, and took out my wallet to show him “I’ve already spent all my money on other purchases” He nodded “Ok, no problem Goodbye, then Remember me.” That was his closing pitch He closed the deal with this and I felt I must really give him something I turned to my girlfriend who had observed the scene in silence, smiling As a sales person herself, she knew this sales technique, and she knew Calabache had won She came to my rescue and gave him one

Ghana cedi(Ghanaian currency) Calabache took the money while I felt a twinge of guilt After all, he was selling his

necklaces for four times that amount My ‘gift’ of a single cedi was worth less than his gift to me Knowing full well this Law of Reciprocity, knowing this persuasion technique is regularly used by street vendors, I still failed to resist the sales pitch I asked if I could take the young vendor’s photo I will remember you, Calabache!

Calabache, 2/2

But the tricky part starts now My girlfriend is a good salesperson and does not miss an occasion to sell herself After Calabache left, I thanked her for helping me and she replied, still smiling - “You’re welcome, darling, I’m sure you’ll have done the same for me” We were walking when something ticked on the back of my mind, and I realised what she did: verbal judo! She could have just said, “You’re welcome darling”, but by adding, “I’m sure you’ll have done the same for me”, she implicitly said that I now have a debt with her and, one day, she will call in that loan! (and she did )

My story with Calabache illustrates an observation made by Dr Cialdini, the scholar at the forefront of research in the science of persuasion for the last thirty years: an uninvited favour creates debts and obligations8 During sales negotiations, the first person to make

a concession on the deal forces, implicitly, the other party to reciprocate and also make a concession, whether they want to or not

* * * * *

3.2 Law of Commitment and Consistency

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes” (Peter Drucker).

When we make a choice and share this decision with another person, we feel pressure to remain consistent with this prior commitment, or risk losing our credibility It is a matter of honour; no one likes to lose face More so, if that commitment is expressed in writing, we can’t deny it later without incurring serious difficulties So, because of social and psychological pressures, we must remain consistent

People who say they don’t like your product, and then later buy it, do so not because they have changed their mind For them, they remain consistent If they decide to buy your product the fifth time you present it to them, it is invariably

because their needs have changed, or you have presented them with new information on the product, or they have paid attention to that piece of information for the first time, so they view it differently They will say something like, “Bob, why did you not tell me the first time that your product could do this? That really makes a difference Now I like it!”

Clients don’t show up?

A problem faced by all restaurants is that patrons often make a reservation and then don’t show up, without prior

notification To solve this recurring problem, a restaurant owner asked the receptionist to add two words when taking a reservation She used to say, “Thank you for your reservation Please call if you have to cancel your reservation” Now she says, “Thank you for your reservation Will you call us if you have to cancel your reservation?” and pauses, waiting for an answer from the patron Once the client says yes, the client has made a public commitment and has to remain consistent

With these two words forcing callers to make a public commitment, the no-show rate dropped from 30% to 10%9

When we commit publicly to something, especially in writing, we’ll find reasons — both rational and irrational —so that

we can remain consistent, unless something external and very persuasive forces us to change

* * * * *

3.3 Law of Liking

“Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them” (Dr Norman Vincent Peale)

People comply with requests more readily when they are made by those they like If you don’t like me, you will feel no obligation to comply with my request, unless you are forced to do so There are three methods to influence someone to like you:

First, like attracts like We tend to like individuals we perceive to be similar to ourselves Whether it is beliefs, lifestyle,

education or personality traits, this ‘similar to me’ bias remains valid The perceived similarity convinces us that we will relate better towards these individuals and that they will be more lenient with us, as we are with them After all, cats don’t typically hang around with dogs, even if they live in the same house and have their meals next to each other Prejudices and stereotypes reinforce this ‘similar to me’ bias That’s why it is easier to market a product to someone who can relate to you

Second, we tend to like people that we find physically attractive and by the halo effect, what is associated with them We believe that their physical attractiveness bestows on them better personality traits Unfortunately, the opposite, the ‘devil effect’, is also true and affects our perception in reverse This is the principal reason why many companies often hire promotional staff (attractive models), at exhibitions and conferences, to present their products to the public The use of

celebrities for product endorsements by marketers is prima facie evidence that this influence trick works well

Third, we tend to like people more if we are already familiar with them In one study10, it was found that students who did not know each other, but talked on the telephone before engaging in a business negotiation by email, obtained better outcomes than did those who did not have prior contact My advice to you here is never cold-email someone you don’t know, you could be seen as a spam It is better to cold-call initially which, despite taking more time, is more effective

Another study11revealed that lawyers whom frequently meet in court and, as a result, get to know each other, were likely

to settle their cases more quickly than lawyers who did not know each other Unfortunately, this is not always in the best interest of their clients as settlements often benefit the lawyers: it is less time consuming and, in some cases, more

financially rewarding

In business, if you wish to retain a client for a long period of time or, if you did not manage to sell your services to a prospect the first time, keep in touch with them The more exposure you have, the more familiar you will become to them, and the more receptive they will be when dealing with you If the prospect refuses to do business with you because you are not established, or because they do not know you, keep at it as your persistence will eventually pay off

If a person could see your picture in a dictionary alongside the word ‘persistence’, one day you will have their business

From personal experience and whilst working as a Marketing Manager, an agency Account Director, over a period of six months, called regularly to touch base with me and we occasionally met at events Each time she called I declined, saying, “No,

I don’t need your services I already have an agency and they are the number one in the country They are the best.” I often found her annoying but respected her and her ‘don’t give up’ attitude: no matter how grumpy I was, she never took it

personally

Then, one day, I needed a quick job done and the price from my agency was too high by industry standards So, I thought about who else could do the job and she came immediately to mind I called her and her team did a very good job Her persistence had finally paid off, and that’s how I started working with an unknown communications agency

* * * * *

3.4 Law of Authority

“Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence” (Charles de Gaulle)

The expert syndrome, ‘because the expert said so’, encourages people to align with an opinion or recommendation of someone reputed

to be an expert on the topic being discussed Companies would rather spend millions on management consultant fees than listen to the advice of their own employees who know the business inside out

Unfortunately for the public, but fortunately for spin-masters, an expert in one domain can also be perceived as an expert

in a different domain by benefiting from the hype and the halo effect

During an electoral campaign, you will see the political parties promote with pride the celebrities and reputed academics who support their candidates The publicists combine the Laws of Liking and Authority to influence the public’s opinion They know that an association forms in the subconscious mind of the public when they see on stage a politician alongside

a celebrity: “If this talented and famous celebrity is supporting this candidate, then it stands to reason that this candidate must be good Let’s listen to the message!”

Because the public admires these performers and perceives the musicians as experts in entertainment, they subconsciously extend that belief of expertise into the realms of politics as well, regardless of foundation What few people consciously

question is what the musicians may know about politics in order to justify inciting people, especially their fans, to vote for their favourite candidate.

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3.5 Law of Social Proof

“In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule” (Friedrich Nietzsche)

Social proof is about demonstrating to someone that his or her peers are already doing something that he or she does not, e.g using a particular product or service, or agreeing with an opinion When someone sees others embracing a product or

an idea, especially those he or she strongly identifies with, there is a far greater likelihood that he or she will conform to avoid being left out of the group

The Law of Social Proof is more effective when uncertainty reigns and the person is unsure about how to act The actions

of others at that particular moment will sufficiently sway the person to adhere to the perceived group’s mentality For instance, when selling a product, discussing how satisfied other customers are will add credibility and positively influence the prospect to join like-minded people Here, testimonials from previous clients are useful If possible, show testimonials that have been handwritten by clients, ideally accompanied by a photo of the client, name, company name and job title

A Lawyer’s TIP to Influence a Judge

A business executive was involved in a car accident in Birmingham He had just three points left on his driving license, and he was certainly going to lose it A few weeks before his appearance in court, his lawyer advised him to send a handwritten letter to the judge The lawyer emailed him the transcript of the letter to send which the man copied by hand, and then sent the letter to the judge He did not lose his driving license

Handwritten testimonials are more impressive because of the time devoted to write them In fact, a testimonial could be as simple as being written on the back of a napkin during a client lunch, subsequently scanned and uploaded to your website.

3.6 Law of Scarcity

“Excellent things are rare” (Plato)

This Law states clearly what we all know to be true: the scarcer something is, the more valuable it is perceived to be Scarcity is precious Quality diamonds are scarce and therefore expensive; few people possess them There is and will only be one Michael Jordan; that is why the most talented people in their fields are so highly paid They are scarce

When you buy a car, your inclination is towards exclusivity You don’t want to pull into your driveway only to see that same car sitting

in everyone else’s driveway

Scarcity limits our freedom our choice When you’re selling or suggesting an idea or product, by combining scarcity on the number of options available, you will force the target to make a quick decision For example:

“This exclusive offer will expire in 10 days!”

“We only have two products left in stock and we are the only store in the city to sell this item You should buy now!”

“I don’t have much time at the moment to come and sign these important documents I can come to see you in two weeks, or you can come to see me today before 5.00pm What’s best for you?”

Perception breeds expectation

All warfare is based on perception and deception; marketers know this very well First impressions, as pointed out earlier,

do count, and count hugely Your first impression on a client must create an impact Proposals and bid documents must always have this “Wa-Hoo” effect McCann Erickson, the number one UK communications agency and number two in the world, taught me this when I was their client They live and breathe by their mission statement, which is:

We have only one mission: To be, both in fact and in perception, the best in each market and in every discipline we operate12

The recipe for perception is simple:

Visual + Olfactory (smell) = Perception

In more detail:

Visual [how you present the product/you]

+Smell [of the product/your perfume]

_

= Perception [the benefits of using the product/talking to you]

+Taste [testing the product/discussing with you]

_

= Appreciation [of the product/you]

In blind tests, it has been shown that people will find that a drink served in an expensive glass tastes better than the same drink served in a plastic cup For example, if you serve an inexpensive brand of champagne, you can alter the perception

of its quality solely by the way you present it (this works with any food or beverage, by the way) A cheap champagne will be perceived as tasting better if it is served in a Baccarat crystal champagne glass than if you served it in a plastic cup

Why? Because the value placed on crystal far exceeds that placed on plastic We subconsciously consider that a beverage served in crystal glass is superior to that which is served in plastic cup It is one of the reasons why French cuisine is considered to be one of the most appreciated in the world: French chefs are expert-artists in food presentation

In business, it is wise to invest in the design and packaging of your product and, because you are a product yourself, you must invest in your image, too The product must look good on the shelf and stand out from the competition, drawing attention from shoppers As put by Apple’s chief executive, Steve Jobs, “the design must be so appealing that you want to lick it.”

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4.2 Make Spending Abstractive

Buy now, pay later

There are two kinds of money in the world: your money and other people’s money

-When you spend your own money, you are careful

-When you spend the money of someone you know, how much you care about how you spend it is directly proportional to how much you care for the person whose money it is

-When you spend someone else’s money who you don’t know, you are indifferent

To persuade people to spend or give you more of their own money, you need to distract them from realising that they’re spending their money

One way of making spending abstractive is through the cashless transaction illusion When people do not have to pay cold, hard cash, when they are not physically handing you their money, they are far more likely to part with a greater sum

of money because they don’t feel the immediate loss It feels very different to hand a cashier a piece of plastic, which is then returned to your wallet, rather than opening your wallet and removing a £20 note to hand to the cashier, leaving nothing in its place Admit it, when you pay with a credit card, you feel as if you’ve just been handed a bonus, a freebie, when you walk out with a shopping bag in your hand The bill is somewhere in the dim, distant future and you don’t always mentally tabulate how it’s growing every time you hand over that piece of plastic Only when you pay cash do you feel as if you’ve traded your hard-earned money for something

Giving ‘virtual money’ with a credit card is so painless and more convenient that people tend to spend more

The same thing happens with coins and small denomination notes People don’t like carrying coins and want to get rid of them from their purse A person with three £5 notes and five £1 coins will typically spend their £20 in a shorter period of time than those carrying a single £20 note We have a negative emotion when we break one large note; the same value spent in smaller denominations is less painful, or not painful at all, until we realise it When the wallet is empty, we just wonder: “where has the £20 gone?!!”

Try it yourself Take all the small denomination notes out of your wallet or purse and carry nothing less than a £50 note How likely are you to order a latte or indulge in a candy bar without coins or a £5 note in your pocket? If your children

have an allowance and they burn through it before the week is out, try giving them one large bill rather than several smaller ones The odds are, they’ll find it much more difficult to fritter away their pocket money

If you are a business, you should encourage customers to pay by credit card and remove minimum transaction levels, as supermarkets do Make sure your employees love you enough if you have to give them a company credit card

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4.3 Make Them Focus on Loss

The perception of loss is more troubling than the perception of gain is uplifting

People focus on loss They become attached to what they have and will take more risks to avoid losing them than they would to replace them by acquiring new things This ‘endowment effect’ reinforces the ‘sunk cost-error fallacy’: we tend

to throw good money after bad, refusing to cut our losses

To see the ‘endowment effect’ in action, consider stock market investors Traders who guess incorrectly start

unauthorised, speculative trading, hoping to cut their losses and save face Rogue traders, such as Nick Leeson who, back

in 1995, single-handedly bankrupted Barings Bank, the oldest merchant bank in London, are victims of the ‘endowment effect’ and the ‘sunk cost-error fallacy’

From a psychological point of view, there is not much difference between investors who refuse to cut their losses and move on, and a woman, for example, who refuses to leave her boyfriend despite their destructive relationship Compare these two statements:

Following an argument with her boyfriend, the woman confides in her best friend: “I know that sometimes he’s not very nice, and maybe he’s not the right one for me, but I’m not ready to let him go I can’t let him go I have too much invested

in this relationship I’m determined to make it work.”

A chief executive, faced with the new division that keeps losing money after a merger, says to the shareholders: “We can’t just close this division and write it off the balance sheet We can’t let it go We have too much invested in this division It’s going to take time but I believe with more effort, our investment will pay off in the future.”

At the core, it’s the same bias in action The chief executive and the woman are victims of the ‘endowment effect’ They will both continue to invest everything they can until the day they run out of the energy and resources to invest in the relationship further As long as there is hope, no matter how miniscule, they plod forward, determined to regain what they’ve lost

Another aspect of the ‘endowment effect’ is that people are resistant to change Today, Western countries run up huge deficits Citizens have personal debts far exceeding those of a few decades earlier, yet many are reluctant to change their current lifestyle and spend less, even when they know it is necessary Add to this the reason of reducing consumption to offset global warming and, although intellectually we may all agree, emotionally we are more self-indulgent We keep focusing on what we will lose and not what we might gain by changing our lifestyle