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Change One Thing Discover What''''s Holding You Back and Fix It With the Secrets of a Top Executive Image Consultant_8 docx

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Even though a lot of my advice is about altering your out-ward style and behavior, the most important change you can make starts on the inside.. 196 change one Thingto make a small chang

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geT The JoB ThaT Works For You 193

cut-to-the-chase cover letters

Keep in mind that human resource managers and recruiters get hundreds of letters seeking employment, so here are some ways

to help your letter rise to the top of the pile:

Keep it short

preferably only a few paragraphs People are too busy to slog through a long narrative.

Lose the “To Whom It Concerns.”

gone the way of the vinyl record Use the person’s name instead If you don’t know it, use the person’s title, but it’s best to personalize whenever possible For more formal companies, use Mr or Ms.; for less formal, use either the first name or both the first and last.

Forget phrases like

Y in regard to Get to the point quickly:

“This is a response to your job listing on Monster.com for

an advertising copywriter.”

Drop a referral name in the first line

sug-gested that you contact a particular person about a job and gave you permission to use his or her name, do it in the first line Personal recommendations mean a lot.

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195

postsCrIpt

do You Feel different?

noWThaTyou

Y

or all of the exercises, one of two things has undoubtedly hap-pened: You either feel like a different person than you were before, or you have a better understanding of what you need to

do to strengthen your image so that you can achieve the confi-dence and recognition you deserve If you are afraid to make a change in your life, you are not alone But during my career as

an image consultant, I have found that the more committed a person is to change, the greater the rewards I hope that after reading this book, you have stopped the excuses and the nega-tive thinking that have been holding you back.

Even though a lot of my advice is about altering your out-ward style and behavior, the most important change you can make starts on the inside It’s about believing in yourself It’s about envisioning yourself as the person you want to be, or in the job you’ve always dreamed of having Whether you needed

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196 change one Thing

to make a small change or a monumental one (or maybe mul-tiple changes), you are doing the work that needs to be done As Charles Darwin once said, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” So good luck with your per-sonal or professional evolution!

Please sign up for my monthly newsletter or contact me with questions by going to personalimagesinc.com I want to hear how your transformation is going!

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197

reCommended

reAdIng

Blink, Malcolm Gladwell

Body Language, Julius Fast

Body Language in the Workplace, Julius Fast

Brag: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It,

Peggy Klaus

Career Match, Shoya Zichy

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High,

Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler

Dress Smart Men, Kim Johnson Gross and Jeff Stone

Dress Smart Women, Kim Johnson Gross and Jeff Stone

Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman

The Etiquette Advantage in Business, Emily Post and Peter Post Executive Charisma, D A Benton

Gestures: The Do’s and Taboos of Body Language Around the World, Roger E Axtell

How Not to Look Old, Charla Krupp

How to Say It, Rosalie Maggio

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198 recoMMended reading

How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie

In Style: Secrets of Style, Editors of In Style Magazine

Looks: Why They Matter More than You Ever Imagined, Gordon

L Patzer, Ph.D.

Networking Magic, Rick Frishman

Networlding: Building Relationships and Opportunities for Success, Melissa Giovagnoli and Jocelyn Carter-Miller

The Platinum Rule, Tony Alessandra, Ph.D.

Plus Style, Suzan Nanfeldt

Power Etiquette, Dana May Casperson

Say It Like Obama: The Power of Speaking with Purpose and Vision, Shel Leanne and Shelly Leanne

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R Covey Talking from 9 to 5, Deborah Tannen, Ph.D.

The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell

The Twenty-One Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John C

Maxwell

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Marshall Goldsmith

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199

ClothIng And ACCessorY lIsts BY prICe

suits, jackets,

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200 cloThing and accessorY lisTs BY price

suits

Inc International (Macy’s) Eileen Fisher

$1,200–$3,500 $1,200–$3,500

$4,000 and up $4,000 and up

shirts

$19.99–$39.99 $19.99–$39.99

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cloThing and accessorY lisTs BY price 201

Croft and Barrow (Kohl’s) Croft and Barrow (Kohl’s)

shoes

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202 cloThing and accessorY lisTs BY price

shoes

ENZO Angiolini

Belts

Cole Haan

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cloThing and accessorY lisTs BY price 203

BrieFcases ( Men and WoMen )

Tumi

Coach

sTores ( Men and WoMen )

discount

Y

T J Maxx

Nordstrom Rack

Marshall’s

Loehmann’s

low cost

Y

Target

Kohl’s

Midrange

Y

Macy’s

Lord & Taylor

Dillard’s

Mid to high end

Y

Nordstrom

Saks

Bloomingdales

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204 cloThing and accessorY lisTs BY price

sTores ( Men and WoMen )

high end

Y

Neiman Marcus

Barney’s

Bergdorf Goodman

online only

Y

QVC.com

Overstock

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205

Index

Abboud, Joseph, 55

Abbreviations, e-mail, 131

Affirmations, 59–61, 156, 159–61

Age, concerns about, 16–19

Alcohol at business meals, 107

Alessandra, Tony, 72

Allstate Insurance Company, xiii

American dining style, 107

Anderson, Pamela, 69

Anna’s Better Networking Tips,

96–98

Anna’s Business Image Tips,

74–77

Anna’s Designer Shopping List, 35

Anna’s Reality Checks

clothes and age, 17

easier presentations, 7–8

tailoring clothes, 58

Anna’s Social-Image Tips, 109–14

Anna’s Tips for Successful

Interviewing, 173–74

Annual reviews, 89–91

Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating

Disorders, 61

AOL survey, 54

Apple shape, 55–56

Arms condition of, 53 folded, 49, 152 positioning, 49, 50 Assertiveness, 87, 157 Attachments, e-mail, 130 Attractiveness, perceived lack of, 11–13 Belts, 41, 56, 184

Black, 33 Blaming, 79–80 Blink test, 42 Blue, 31, 33 Body image, 47–70 inner supermodel and, 61–62 quiz, 48–53

wardrobe and, 54–59 Will Powers for improving, 59–61 Body odor, 77–78

Body size See Weight/body size

Body types, 54–57 Boredom, 82–83 Bosses

bad, 91–93 dressing like, 34–37 insufficient face time with, 86

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206 index

Bracelets, 36

Bras, 59

Bread-and-butter plate, 108

Breakaway, 113

Breakfast meetings, 104

Breast enhancements and reductions,

69

Briefcases, 27, 183

Brown, 33

Brownnosing, 78–79

Buffet dining, 103

Business cards, 102–3

Business gurus, 5

Business style, 71–98

allowing partners to shine, 76–77

Anna’s Tips, 74–77

annual reviews of, 89–91

bad habits, 77–80

negative image, 85–87

quiz, 72–74

Career changes, 83–85 See also Job

changes

CareerBuilder.com, 23, 82

Casual Fridays, 27

Cell phone etiquette, 109

Chain letters, 131

China, 114

Cleavage, 59

Clichés, 126–27

Clinton, Hillary, 34

Clothes See Wardrobe

Color, 31–34

Comb-overs, 18, 70, 184

Commercials, self-promotion, 93–94,

121

Communication style, 117–45

conversation tools (exercise),

136–38

e-mail, 128–32

first impressions (exercise), 138–40

handling complaints, 135–36

perceived deficiency in, 5–8

quiz, 118–22

sloppy speech habits, 125–27

speaker evaluation (exercise), 141–43

speech profile (exercise), 140–41

voice in, 122–25

words that sell, 127–28 words to use and avoid, 134–35 workplace (exercise), 144–45 written, 132–33

Complaints, handling, 135–36 Complexion, 31, 34, 53 Compliments, 52, 149 Continental dining style, 107 Conversation tools, 136–38 Cover letters, 193

Covey, Stephen, 5, 157 Credit hogging, 93

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High (Patterson

et al.), 136 Cuffed pants, 41 Cultural differences, 102, 114–15 Data communications analysts, 84

Details (magazine), 42 Devil Wears Prada, The

(Weisenberger), 91 Diet, avoiding references to, 95 Dining rules, 103–9

Director (business style), 73 Disney, Walt, 2

Drama Queens, 80 Earrings, 36, 37 Eastern Europe, 114 Eating disorders, 61–62, 63–64 Education, perceived lack of, 2–5 Elderly persons, addressing, 103 E-mail etiquette, 128–32 Emoticons, 131

Entertaining business associates, 101 Enunciation, 121

Excuses, 1–22

I don’t communicate well, 5–8

I don’t have enough experience, 8–9

I was fired from my last job, 13–14 I’m not educated, 2–5

I’m too intelligent, 9–11 I’m too old, 16–19 I’m unattractive, 11–13 it’s too late for something new, 15

no one takes me seriously, 21–22 the world is against me, 19–20

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index 207

Exercise, 50, 63

Exit interviews, 75

Experience, perceived lack of, 8–9

Eye contact, 119, 151

Eyewear, 27

Face

pleasant expression on, 67–68

shape of, 53

Fast talkers, 124

Faux pas fixes, 110–14

Fidgeting, 21–22, 151

Firings/layoffs, 13–14, 75, 82

First impressions, 112, 138–40

Fist bump, 155

Fist clenching, 152

Food See Dining rules

Formal wear, 28

Fragrances, 50, 78, 184

France, 102

Franken, Al, 156

French cuff shirts, 42

Gates, Bill, 2

General Electric, xiii

Germany, 114–15

Ginis, Kathleen Martin, 65–66

Golf, 102

Goofing off, 78

Google, 78

Gossip, 96, 113

GQ (magazine), 12, 42

Grammar, 126, 129, 191

Gravelly voice, 124

Gray, 33

Green, 33

Grey, Jennifer, 69

Gum snapping, 77

Hair style and care, 12, 16–17, 38, 51,

184

Hair transplants, 70

Handbags, 183

Handshake, 103, 151, 153–55

Harassment, sexual or psychological, 81

Heckling, dealing with, 111

Heels, 38

Height, enhancing, 52

Hemming and hawing, 125 High-pitched talkers, 123 Hourglass shape, 54–55

How Not to Look Old (Krupp), 69

Humor, 18–19 IBM, 31 Illness avoiding references to, 96 coming to work with, 88–89

Inc (magazine), 158

Information interviews, 169 Intelligence, overestimating, 9–11 Internships, 10

Interview style See Job interviews

Introductions, 103–4 Inverted triangle shape, 55 Jackets

leather, 183 suit, 41 Jackson, Michael, 69 Japan, 115

Jargon, 133, 188 Jennings, Peter, 2 Jewelry, 29, 36–37, 182

Job changes, 81–83 See also Career

changes Job interviews, 165–93 Anna’s Tips, 173–74 common mistakes, 170–73 dressing for, 26, 168, 182–84 follow-up to, 186–87 interviewee questions, 185–86 interviewer questions, 184–85 preparation checklist, 180 preparation worksheet, 176–79 quiz, 166–69

salary negotiations, 174–76 survival kit, 180

types of, 169 Jobs, Steve, 2 Jokes, ethnic or sexist, 112–13 Joseph, Glenn, 136

Kitchen cabinet, 157 Kors, Michael, 46 Krupp, Charla, 69

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208 index

Language difficulties, 5–8

Levine, Michael, 59–60

Likemind, 92

Lincoln, Abe, 2

LinkedIn, 104

Listening, 87, 121

Loud talking, 78

Low talkers, 122, 124–25

Lunch meetings, 104, 107

Lying, 88–89, 90, 171

Makeup, 12, 16, 17, 184

Makeup artists, 84

Marital status, avoiding references to,

96

Massachusetts Institute of Technology,

118

McDonald’s Corporation, xiii

McMaster University, 65

McMillan, Ron, 136

Men

age and appearance, 18

body image, 66

body types, 55, 56, 57

cosmetic products for, 12

eating disorders in, 64

jewelry for, 37

overweight, 65

wardrobe advice for, 35, 39–43

Men’s Health (magazine), 12

Men’s Journal (magazine), 12

Mexico, 102

Middle East, 115

Mispronouncing words, 126

Mistakes, admitting to, 90, 150–51

Modesty, excessive, 172

Money, avoiding references to, 96,

113

Monroe, Marilyn, 62–63

Monster.com, 95

Moore, Demi, 69

More (magazine), 12

Nail care, 51, 182

Names, appropriate use of, 103, 122

Napkin, proper placement of, 108

Nasal talkers, 124

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA), 62 Navy blue, 31, 40

Necklaces, 37 Neckties, 183 Negative thoughts, 157–63 Neiman Marcus, 42 Network systems analysts, 84 Networking, 15, 104 alternative to, 92 Anna’s Tips, 96–98 30- to 60-second commercial for, 93–94, 121

topics to avoid during, 95–96

No, learning to say, 156–57 Nordstrom, 42

Objective statement, on résumés, 188 Office squatters, 80

One-on-one interviews, 169 Optimism, 150

Orange, 32 Organization

of closet, 25–26

of thoughts, 121, 133

of work area, 86–87 Panel interviews, 169 Pants, 41, 55 Pantyhose, 38–39, 183 Parties, proper behavior at, 103, 110 Patterson, Kerry, 136

Peale, Norman Vincent, 157 Pear shape, 57

Personal and home-care aides, 84 Personal Images, Inc., xiii, 70, 196 Personal space, 119

Plastic surgery, 68–70 Plaxo, 104

Pleated pants, 41, 55, 56, 57 Politics, avoiding references to, 95 Polo shirts, 43

Portland, Alex, 118 Posture, 49

Power of Color, The (Walker), 32 Power of Positive Thinking, The (Peale),

157

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index 209

Preparation, lack of, 79, 170

Presentations

in job interviews, 181

tips for, 7–8

Promotions, 82

Public speaking, 120

Purple, 33

Questions, 122, 129, 184–86

Quizzes

body image, 48–53

business-protocol, 100–105

business style, 72–74

communication style, 118–22

interview style, 166–69

self-image, 148–52

social-protocol, 105–9

wardrobe, 24–29

Raises, 82

Recording oneself, 7, 21

Rectangle shape, 56

Red, 32

Relater (business style), 73–74

Religion, avoiding references to, 95

Restaurant checks, picking up, 104

Restaurant reservations, 109

Résumés, 187–92

Rings, 36, 37, 154

Ripa, Kelly, 58

Robbins, Tony, 157

Rudeness, dealing with, 111

Russia, 102

Ryan, Meg, 69

Saks, 42

Salad, cutting, 107

Salary, negotiating, 174–76

School, returning to, 85

Second City Improv Workshops, 76

Secret, The (Byrne), 157–58

Self-image, 147–63

banning negative thoughts, 157–63

quiz, 148–52

10 percent rule, 152–53

tips for boosting, 155–57

7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The

(Covey), 5, 157 Sharks, swimming from, 75–76 Shatner, William, 70

Shirts, 42, 183 Shoes, 38, 182, 184 Skin-care specialists, 84 Skirts, proper length of, 183 Slang, 125

Slow talkers, 123 Small talk, 97, 119, 151 Smiling, 3, 67–68, 149–50 Smoking, 78

Smolak, Linda, 59–60 Social image, 99–115 Anna’s Tips, 109–14 elegant social skills, 105 faux pas fixes, 110–14 multicultural, 102, 114–15

at parties, 103, 110 quizzes, 100–109 Socializer (business style), 74 Socks, 43

Speaker evaluation, 141–43 Speech profile, 140–41 Spelling, 129

Sport shirts, 42 Sporting events, dressing for, 29 Stanford University, 123 Stein, Ben, 123

Stewart, Patrick, 70 Success journal, 155–56 Suits, 18, 26, 28, 39–42, 183 Sun damage, avoiding, 18 Switzler, Al, 136

Tardiness, 21, 79, 88, 109 Tattoos, 37

Teen (magazine), 62

Teeth, caring for, 50 Telephone conversations, excessively loud, 78

10 percent rule, 152–53 Thank-you notes, 98, 109, 186–87 Thinker (business style), 74 Three-button suits, 41, 56 Tipping, 108

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210 index

Toasts, 111

Toupees, 18, 70, 184

Toxic work environments, 81

Truman, Harry, 2

Two-button suits, 41

Two-faced behavior, 80

Two Million Dollar Club, xiii

University of Chicago, 161

University of Michigan, 113

Veterinarians, 84

Videotaping oneself, 2–3, 104

Visual assault, 67

Visualizations, 161–63

Voice, 122–25

Volunteering, 9, 156

Vreeland, Diana, 45

Walker, Morton, 32

Wardrobe, 11–12, 23–46

age and, 17, 18

Anna’s Designer Shopping List, 35

body type and, 54–57

classic vs trendy vs fad, 30

color of, 31–34

to enhance and camouflage, 57–59

fabric recommendations, 26, 40,

42, 43, 46

job interviews and, 26, 168, 182–84

message conveyed by, 34–36

proper fit, 43, 53, 58

quiz, 24–29

requirements for core, 44 spending allocation, 44–45 style of, 45

tailoring, 58 timing and, 46 travel, 27–28, 40–41 Washington, George, 2 Watches, 37

Websites, personal, 9 Weight/body size, 52 common myths about, 62–64 discrimination based on, 65 unhealthy ways of controlling, 61–62

the workplace and, 64–65 West, Mae, 62–63

Will Powers, 59–61 Willis, Bruce, 70 Wimpy words, 127 Women

age and appearance, 16–18 body image, 66–67 jewelry for, 36–37 overweight, 65 petite, 58 wardrobe advice for, 11–12, 35, 58 Workloads, excessively heavy, 82 Writing skills, 132–33

Yale Gender Communication Study, 51 Yelling, 93

Yellow, 32–33 YouTube, 104

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