GlAl QUYET MAU THUAN VO CHONG 6 DAN T O C CO HO HIEN NAY Nghien cuu trucmg hap xS Gia Hiep, huyen Di Linh, tinh Lam Ddng DAO THI HIEU' NGO VAN HUAN" Tom tdt: Bai viit phdn tich s6 li
Trang 1GlAl QUYET MAU THUAN VO CHONG 6
DAN T O C CO HO HIEN NAY
(Nghien cuu trucmg hap xS Gia Hiep, huyen Di Linh, tinh Lam Ddng)
DAO THI HIEU' NGO VAN HUAN"
Tom tdt: Bai viit phdn tich s6 lieu tir cuoc khdo sdt ndm 2017 tgi mot xd a tinh Lam Ddng vi hinh thuc mdu thudn, cdch thuc vd vai trd cua cdc thiet che trong viec gidi quyet mdu thudn va chdng trong gia dinh nguai ddn tQC Ca Ho Ket qud cho thdy hinh thuc biiu hien mdu thudn chit yiu Id cdi nhau/tranh ludn, mdng chici, de doa, im Idng/khong noi chuyen vai nhau, dap phd dd dgc, ddnh dap nhau, vd uong bia, ruau Gia dinh vd ho hdng tham gia vdo viec gidi quyet mdu thudn nhieu nhdt vd duac ddnh gid co vai tro quan trong trong gidi quyit mdu thudn va chong Cdch thuc md ho su dung de gidi quyet mau thudn chit yiu Id phdn tich, khuyen bdo, chia se thong cdm doi vai cdc cap va chong Viec gidi quyet mdu thudn va chong cua nguai ddn toe Ca Ho cUng co chiu su dnh huang bdi ludt tuc cua cong dong
Tit khoa: dan tdc Co Ho, mdu thuan vg chdng, giai quyet mdu thudn vg chdng,
Ldm Ddng
Nhgn bai: 13/8/2018 Gui phdn bien: 20/8/2018 Duyet ddng: 12/9/2018
1 Dat van de
Tir xua din nay, gia dinh ludn giu mdt vi tri rdt quan trpng Gia dinh khong dan gian la noi hdi tu cdc thdnh vien cd quan he hdn nhdn, huylt thdng ma cdn la mdi trudng
xa hgi hda tre em, dn dinh nhdn cdch cua ngudi Idm vd tham gia vdo hoat ddng kinh tl de giiip xd hdi phdt trien Trong nhung ndm gdn ddy, gia dinh Viet Nam dang phai ddi mat vdi nhilu vdn dl dnh huang din vai trd, vi tri ciia gia dinh, trong do cd vdn dl mau thuan
vg chdng Mdu thuan vg chdng khdng chi dnh hucmg true tilp din mdi quan he gifia ngudi vg va ngudi chdng, ma cdn anh hudng din bdu khdng khi gia dinh cung nhu cac thanh vien cdn lai Cac nghien cim da cho thdy trong ddi sdng hon nhdn, cd rdt nhilu vdn
de ddn din mau thudn vg chdng Mdu thudn vg chdng cd thi xudt phdt tir vdn dl tdi chinh (Dew vd Dakin, 2011; Dew vd Stewart, 2012), giao due con cdi, img xir giiia cdc thdnh vien trong gia dinh vdi nhau, ling xir ciia vg chdng vai hdng xom, ban be (Nguyin Hdng Ha, 2010) Le Phugng (1986) chi ra 2 loai nguyen nhan dan din mdu thudn vg
Dgi hgc Dd Lat
Trang 2chong Loai nguySn nhdn thit nhat Hen quan din vdn de nhu tinh yeu cdm tinh; tinh yfiu thuc dung; xu hudmg tinh d\ic hda tmh ySu; thdi gian tim hieu ngdn Lo?ii nguySn nhdn thii hai lien quan din quan niem sai lam vl tinh ySu vd hdn nhdn; thilu binh ddng giQa vg
vd chdng; mdu thuin thi h6 dan din mdu thuan vg chdng; ngoai tinh va quan niem qud dl dai vl ly hdn Trong gia dinh ngheo, mau thuan vg chdng thudng xudt phdt tir khd khdn
vl kinh te, tir su phdn chia tdi sdn thira kl khdng cdng bdng Trong khi dd, nhimg gia iflnh
cd dilu kifn khd gid, mdu thuin vg chdng lai xudt phdt tir s\r chenh l?ch thu nheip vd sii dyng thai gian ddnh cho hoat dgng vui chai gidi tri (Bui Quang Diing, 2002) Vl mdt hmh thiic bieu hien, mau thuan vg chong cd nhieu bieu hi?n khac nhau nhu tranh ludn to tieng, mdng chiri nhau hodc chiln tranh lanh (Vu Tuan Huy, 2007; Cao HuyIn Nga, 1998) BSn canh dd, cd cap vg chong xuat hien hi§n tugng ddnh dap, diing vu lire hoac cam dodn lam mdt viec gi dd
Cdch thiic giai quyet phd bien nhat khi co mdu thuan la cac c^p vg chdng tvr gidi quylt Cach thuc nay thudng dugc cdc cap vg chong trong gia dinh hat nhan Iga chgn hem
so vcri cdc cap vg chdng sdng trong gia dinh nhieu the he (Bid Quang Diing, 2002) Chi khi ndo hai vg chong khdng thi tu giai quyet tW hg nho toi s\r trg giiip, hda gidi cua cac thdnh viSn trong gia dinh, hg hang than tdc ho|c ciia to hda gidi Cac gia dinh cd dieu ki?n kinh tg khdc nhau cd each thitc gidi quyet mau thuan khdc nhau Trong khi gia dinh khd gid thuong lua chgn each "ddng cita bao nhau" de hda gidi mau thuan vg chdng thi gia ffinh ngheo thucmg cd xu huong ldm cho mau thuan trd nen nghiem trgng hon vd nhd tcri sir hda gidi cua td hda gidi trong cdng ddng Nhu v£iy, phdn ldm cdc nghien ciiu da chi ra rdng cdc cdp vg chdng ludn mong mudn gidi quyet mau thuan nhdm tgo s\r hoa thudn trong gia dinh
Tuy nhien, cung c6 cdp vg chdng lira chgn ly hdn dl gidi quylt mau thuan (Trdn
Thi Minh Thi, 2011) Ddi vdi phu nii, hg it hi dp I\rc ve su ky vgng phdi kiem that nhilu
tien dl lo ldng cho gia dinh ban so vcri dan dng Chinh vi vdy, vdn de ve kinh te chua phai
la nguydn nhan chii yeu ldm cho phu nu: quylt dinh chdm dirt cudc kit hdn Theo nghien ciju cua Phan Thi Luydn (2016), ly do khien cho ph\i nu chdm diit hdn nhdn nhu la: tinh tinh khdng hgp nhau, ngogi tinh, ghen tudng, bgo lgc gia dinh, phgm tgi va mdc cdc t? ngn
xa hdi, dm dau/b?nh tdt, Con ddi v6i vi$c ly hdn trong cgng d^ng ngucri Lach (mgt nhdnh cua ddn t0c Ca Ho) la do xudt phat tir nhung nguyen nhan nhu: ngoai tinh, lucri bilng hoac do nguai chdng rugu che, vu phu, xiic phgm churi mang cha me Khi mudn ly hdn, ngucri chdng/vg phai nho ngucri trong hg hang ciia minh, dgc biet Id dng cgu, ngucri lam mai mdi din ndi chuyen vdi cha me hodc chi em gdi cua ngudi kia ve y dinh cua minh Hai ben s6 tien hdnh ddn bii vd bi phgt vg theo ludt t\ic Theo quy djnh cua lugt tuc Lgch, nlu ngudi chdng ngogi tinh hodc cd hdnh dgng sai trdi thi anh ta va hp hdng phdi din bu danh du cho bSn ngudi vg bdng nhung do vat nhu: mdt tam iu, mgt con heo vd m$t che rugu Neu hai vg chdng da co con, ngudri chong phdi cd trach nhi^m den bu cho nguai vg chi phi nudi con, moi diia Id mgt con trau (hien nay trau dugc quy ddi ra thanh tiln) Vd neu nguyen nhan ly hdn Id do ngudi vg thi chi ta ciing phai lam tuong tu nhu thi
Trang 3(Trjn Thi HiSn, 2012) Tuy nhien, trong doi sdng thuc tiln, khi vg ch6ng co mau thuin voi nhau thi Idiong phai ai cimg se lua chQn bien phap ly hon ma c6 the se giai quyet mdu thuan bang hinh thiic khac
Co th6 noi, cho d6n nay da co nhiSu nghien ciiu vS mau thuan va giai quylt mau thuin vg ch6ng dugc gioi nghien ciiu nuoc ngoai va trong nuoc thuc hien C^c nghign ciiu da lam ro nguyen nhan, hinh thiic biiu hiSn mau t h u ^ vg chong, dong thoi n6u len each giai quyet mau thuan va vai tro cua cac chu the trong viec giai quyet mau thuan vg chong Tuy nhien, cac nghien ciiu tim hieu thuc trang mau thuan, nguyen nh3n mau thuSn
va each giai quylt mau thuin vg chong trong cong dong ngirdi dan tgc thieu so 6 khu vuc TSy Nguyen dang con kha it Vi vay, nghien ciiu nay sg di vao nhan dien mau thuan vg chong trong cgng dong Co Ho {mot cgng ddng ddn tgc thieu so theo che do mau h^ tai Ldm D6ng) nhdm chi ra nguydn nhan ciing nhu giai phap cho van dS nay gan vdi ddc thii cua dia ban nghien ciiu Dong thoi, nghien ciiu ve su tac dgng, chi phoi ciia cac thilt chi den giai quyet mau thuan vg chong van chua dugc nghien ciiu nhieu tir each tilp cdn xa hgi hgc
Trong bli canh qua trinh cong nghiep h6a, hien dai hoa, mau thuan vg chflng cung dang CO chilu huong gia tang o cdc ddn tgc thilu s6 tai khu vuc Tay Nguyen Co 3 cau hoi nghien ciiu dat ra: Vdn de thuang gdy ra mau thuin vg ch6ng 6 nguoi ddn t§c Co Ho
Id gi? Hinh thiic mau thuan vg ching trong gia dinh cr dan tgc Co Ho nhu thi nao? Cach thiic giai quylt mau thudn vg chong 6 ddn tgc Co Ho ra sao? Myc tieu cua bai viit nhfai nhdn dien vdn dl gdy ra mau thuan va hinh thiic biiu hien mdu thuan vg chong 6 nguoi ddn tOc Co Ho, ding thoi chi ra each thiic gidi quylt mdu thudn vg chong 6 ddn tgc Co
Ho trong boi canh hien nay
2 So lieu va phirong phap nghien cihi
S6 lieu sir dung trong bai viit nay dugc thu thap tit cugc dilu tra chgn mau 200 hp gia dinh nguoi ddn toe Co Ho tai Ldm D6ng thang ID nam 2017 Dia dilm khao sat t?i xa Gia Hiep, huy$n Di Linh, tinh Lam D6ng Tji dia ban xa co ting s6 611 hg gia dinh (voi 2.895 nhdn khau) nguoi Co Ho dang sinh sdng tai 5 trong ting s6 11 thdn Nghien ciiu nay tien hanh chgn 200 nguoi dai dien hg gia dinh (ngucri vg hodc ngucri chdng) ldm don
vi thu thap thong tin Cu thi la gdm cd 100 nam va 100 nil; do tuli tir 18 din 34 tuli chiem 55%, tu 35 din 49 tudi ehilm 29,0% va tir 50 din 60 tudi chiim 16,0% Vl trinh
do hgc van, mil ehii chiim 32,0%, tiiu hgc chiim 25,5%, trung hgc eg so chiim 31,0% vi trung hgc phi thdng trd Kn chiim 11,5%
Ben eanh do, sd li$u dinh tinh dugc thu thap bSng phuang phap phdng vdn sdu cac ddi tugng bao gdm: can bd van hda xa, can bd phu nir xa, truong thdn (Td trudng Td hoa giai), can bd phu nft thdn, dai dien cua cdc cdp vg chdng nhjm khai thac nhirag thdng tin chi tiet ve cac khia canh trong mdu thudn gia dinh va each giai quylt mau thuan gia dinh Trong nghien ciiu nay tac gia da thuc hi$n 10 phdng vdn sdu vai cac ddi tugng tren
Trang 43 Vai net ve dan tgc Co- Ho it xa Gia Hi|p, huy^n Di Linh, tinh Lam D^ng
Cho din cudi thi ky 19, ddu thi ky 20, kinh tl-vdn hda-xa hgi cua ngudi Ca Ho cr Ldm D6ng van trong thcri ky tan ra cua chi dO cdng xa nguydn thuy, mang ddm net nhung ylu td truyin thdng, co xua vd hdu nhu chua bi tdc dgng nhilu bdi cdc ylu td b6n ngoai Sau nam 1975, dgc bi?t Id tir nam 1986 din nay, Ddng vd Nha nudc dd thyc hi?n nhilu chii truang, chinh sach vd triln khai nhilu chuong trinh, du dn phdt triln miin mii, vimg sau, viing xa, vimg ddng bdo dan tgc thilu so H? thdng chinh sdch nay khd da dang vd todn di?n trSn tdt ca cac ITnh vuc: kinh te, dau tu ca sa hg tdng, y te, giao due, van hoa da tdc dgng mgnh me, ldm thay ddi cdn bdn kinh tl, xd hpi, vdn hda ciia nguoi Co Ho a Lam Ddng ndi rieng, cu dan tgi cho Tdy Nguyen ndi chung Ngudi dan tgc Ca Ho cdn dugc ggi bing nhiing cai ten khdc nhau nhu la Ko-ho (KdHo), K'Ho Trong ddn tgc Ca Ho bao g6m cdc nhanh khdc nhau nhu ngudi Mg, ngudi Sre (Sd Re), nguoi Cii (Xin) hay Chill, ngudri Lat, ngudri Tring (Td-ring), ngudi Nop, ngudi Ta lai (Ta-Lai), (Ciiu Long Giang va Toan Anh, 1974:395-396) Tinh din ngay 01/7/2015 (thai diem tien hanh cugc Tdng dieu tra kinh te, xa hgi 53 ddn tgc thieu so), tgc nguai
Co Ho cd 188.266 ngudi, ddng nhdt trong s6 cdc tgc nguoi thilu so a Ldm Ddng, xep thii 4 trong 12 tgc ngudi tgi cho Tay Nguyen (sau ngudi Gia-rai, E-de, Ba-na), thii 15 trong cgng dong 54 dan tgc a Vigt Nam (Phimg Diic Timg vd cgng s\r, 2017:98) Dan vi
td chiic xd hpi cao nhat ciia ngu6i Ca Ho la bon, ddy cung la don vi hanh chinh quan trpng nhdt vi no khdng chi Id mOt dan vi to chiic x3 hgi md nd con la mgt dan vi kinh te t\r cung tu cdp Diing dau bon Id chu bang, ngucri ndy thudng Id nguai tdi gidi, cd sue khde, bilt an ndi, cd hieu biet ve phong tyc, tgp quan, lugt tuc Ngodi ra, cdn cd "Hdi ddng gid lang" gdm nhimg nguai cao tudi Id cdc chii nhd vd cdc tpc truang Hdi dong hgp vdi su tham gia cua trudng bon de gidi quyet nhGng trucmg hgp nghiem trgng Tang lap nay chii ylu Id nhihig ngudi cd su hieu biet, cd mdi quan he rgng vd cd s\r khdc biet
ve tdi sdn (trdu bd, chieng che, ndi ddng, ddt dai ) Nguiri Ca Ho cung nhu cdc ddn tdc
d Tdy Nguyen khac van theo chi do mdu h§, con gdi thira huong gia tdi, con trai phdi di
a rl, ddng hg tinh theo ddng nii Do vdy, hdn nhan giiia con di vdi nhau bi coi la loan luan nhung con ciia em gdi hodc chi gai van cd th6 ldy con cua em hoac anh trai (vi con cua cgu mang hg ciia me la thudc dong hp khdc)
Ngudi chu gia dinh la ngudi me, ngucri vg nhung ngudi thay m$t gia dinh thudmg la ngudri cgu Khi gia dinh cd vi?c thi ngudi cau phdi diing ra thay mdt gia
dinh gidi quylt Ngucri Ca Ho coi trpng con gdi hon con trai vi con gdi di bdt chdng vd giu: ciia cdi trong gia dinh Gia dinh nguai Ca Ho thudmg sdng thdnh m^t dgi gia dinh
voi nhilu tiiu gia dinh con cdi d chung dudi mpt mdi nhd (nhung khdng bdt budc) Nguoi phung duomg cha me thudng Id con gdi lit hodc chi ca (Lmh Nga Niekdam, 2011:25)
Mdu thudn vg chdng trong nghien ciru nay bao gdm nhiing hanh vi bgo luc, cai nhau, tranh ludn xdy ra giua ngudi vg vd nguai chdng trong gia dinh Bdi viet ndy tap trung vao tim hieu giai dogn vd van de gdy ra mdu thuan vg chdng, hinh thiic mau thuan
Trang 54 Thyc trang mau thuan vy chong * ddn tgc Cff Ho
4.1 Giai ^an xay ra m&u thuan vjr chong
D I tim hiiu giai doan xdy ra mau thuan vg chdng tai dia ban nghidn cihl, cdu hdi dugc dua ra la: "Ong (ba) hdy cho bilt giai doan nao trong cudc sdng hdn nhdn de xdy ra mdu thuin nhdt?" Kit qud khdo sat cho thdy, giai doan thuang xdy ra mdu thuin t-ong doi sing hdn nhdn nhilu nhdt la vao giai do^in khi con con nhd (chiem 62%) Tiep theo la giai doan khi mdi cudi va giai doan khi cdc con da truang thdnh co ty 1$ xap xi gan bdng nhau (ty If tuong ling la 20,0% va 17,5%), giai do^in khi cac con dd lap gia dinh la it xay
ra mdu thudn nhdt chi chiem ty le 0,5%
Giai doan khi bdt ddu cd con nho la giai doan dl xdy ra nhilu mdu thuan vdi cdc cap
vg chdng bdi vi liic nay hg bat ddu phai dam nhan them vai tro moi la vai trd ldm bl lam
mf Ddc biet, diia con ddu long sinh ra la nilm hanh phiic gia dinh nhung nlu khdng cd su chudn bi vl mdt tinh thdn ciing nhu la vdt chdt thi day se la giai doEUl tao nen s\r xao tr^n trong ddi sdng gia dinh Vi trong liic ndy cdng viec cua nguoi me phdi tang len rdt nhieu lan so vdi tnrdc day Hg se khdng con nhieu thdi gian cham lo cho bdn thdn minh va ngudi chdng nhu trudc Ben canh dd, tam ly cua ngudi phu nii sau khi sinh con xong cung cd nhimg thay ddi ban Cd thi giai doan khi mdi cudi vg chdng se chua can qua nhilu tien ciia nhung trgng giai doan khi cd con nhd thi dd la van de ma hg rat quan tdm
Vi the, giai doan ndy thudng se de xdy ra mdu thuan nhat Khi hdi ve giai dogn thudng xdy ra mdu thudn nhdt trong ddi sdng hdn nhdn ciia ngudi ddn tgc Co Ho thi mdt cdn bg cua xa da chia se: "Xay ra mau thuan khi vg cd bdu den khi con hgc lap 1, khodng dg 18 den 23 va 24 tudi" (Nam, phd chu tich xd, 39 tudi) Khi ngudi phg nir mang thai thi hg si
it tham gia vdo qud trinh lao d^ng dugc nhilu nhu trudc ddy
4.2 Van dS thtrong gay ra m&u thuan vp- chdng
Khi tim hiiu vl nguyen nhan dan din mdu thuin vg ching, cau hdi dugc ddt ra Id
"Nhang vdn dl thudng gdy ra mdu thuan trong doi sing hdn nhan cua dng (ba) Id gi?" Vdn de thudng gay ra mdu thuan trong ddi song hdn nhan cua cac cdp vg chdng ngudi dan tdc Co Ho cung kha da dsing Thdi quen xdu cOa vg/chdng trong dn d hang ngay (nhu uing rugu, hiit thudc la, ludi bieng tdm nia ) la vdn dl thudng khiln cho cdc cdp vg chdng mdu thudn nhilu nhdt, ehilm tdi 86,5% Ben eanh dd, cdc vdn de khdc nhu thilu trdch nhiem trong ddng gdp kinh tl (ehilm 53,0%), khdc nhau trong each cham sdc va day dd con cdi (chiim 48,5%), bj ddnh ddp, chiri riia, de dga (chiim 46,5%)), quan h? gia dinh hai ben (chiem 13,0%) cOng trd thdnh vdn dl gdy nen s\r mau thuin vg chdng Cdn nhiing vdn de nhu su khac biet vl vdn hda, hgc vdn, dia vi xd hgi; khdng hda hgp ddi sdng tinh due thi diu chiem ty 1$ 6,0% Du lieu tit phdng vdn sdu cung phdn anh ro nguyen nhdn mdu thuin vg chdng, mdt can bg thdn chia se:
Do kinh te, nguai ta theo chi rfp miu he Nguai phit nu ndm quyin, ngu&i 3an ong khong CO tieng noi, doi khi qua chen co lai qua tiing lgi Ya han nUa la nhgn thic cua hg chua cao
(Nam, trudng thdn, 52 tuoi)
Trang 6H i n h 1 Van de thircmg gay r a mSu thuan trong 6iA s i n g hon n h a n ngirM dSn tQC Cff Ho
Thieu trach Khac nhau Thoi xau cua Quan he gia Sy khac biet vd Bi danh dap, Khong hoa nhiem trong trong each vp/chong trong dinh hai bdn v5n hoa, hoc chiri nia, de h(?p dai song dong gop kinh cliamsocva a n a hang ngay van, diavixa doa tinh dye
te day dfl con cdi hgi
Chil thich: N=200
Nguon Ket qud khdo sdt cua de tdi
d cdng ddng ngudi Co Ho tai ddy, lam dung rugu bia, nghien rugu dang la van de rdt ddng chii y, ddng bdo ddng Ddy cung chinh Id nguyen nhdn tr^rc tiep, chdt xuc tdc d6 gdy nen mdu thuan giira cdc cap vg chdng Mdt nguoi vg cd chdng thuang udng nrgu da chia se nhu sau: "Ong di udng hdng ngay Moi ngay dng uong mpt lit Bay gid, dng cung udng nhu vgy Ong udng vdo la khdng cho minh nghi ngoi ddu Ong ngdi ma ti vi do do xong rdi dng udng rugu vd minh ndi thi dng chiH lai" (Nu, lam ndng, 47 tudi), hay Id:
"Buon chii, nhung ciing cd di ldm nhung vl rdi nhdu, cu lam xong vd nhau, chi tiic" (Nir, ldm ndng, 22 tudi)
Nguyen nhan Igm dung rugu bia ma thudng Id tij phia nguai chdng da dugc mpt sd
nghien ciiu dh cap nhu Id mdt trong nhiing nhdn td dan den mdu thudn, bao lire gia dinh
Kk qud tir nghien cuu cua Trinh Thdi Quang (2008) da cho thdy rdng lam dung nrgu cua
nam gioi tai dja bdn nghien cihi Id mdt hi?n tugng khd phd biln, vd day la mpt trong nhung ydu td cd lien quan mat thilt vdi nhimg mdu thuan va bgo luc trong gia dinh
Ngodi ra, vdn dl khiln cho vg chdng xdy ra mdu thuan vi dai sdng kinh te khd khdn Tinh trang vay mugn, tin dung den dl chi trd tiln phan bdn, tiln mua cdc loai thudc, tiln mua cdy gidng, vdt dung tudi tieu trong viec canh tdc cdy cd phe va chi tieu hang ngay Tuy nhien, thu nhgp tir ndng nghiep thudng theo mua vu, vi vdy tinh trgng "an truac trd sau" Id rat phd bien a cac h$ gia dinh va cii nhu vay tir mua ndy sang mua khdc, tir thi he nay sang the he khdc Chinh vi vay, sir khd khan trong ddi sdng hang ngdy, ng ndn bua vdy cdc hg gia dinh ngudi Co Ho da true tiep gdy nen nhihig mdu thuan xung dot
Trang 74.3 Tdn suat xdy ra m&u thuan
Voi cdu hdi nhdm ddnh gid tiin sudt cua cac mdu thuin trong quan h^ vg ch6ng ngudi
Ca Ho, bdng 1 cho thdy, xdy ra mdu thuin cua vg chdng a miic hdng ngdy la trong cdc v ^
dl nhu thdi quen ciia vg/ch6ng trong an a hdng ngdy (2%), thilu trdch nhi?m trong ddng gdp kinh tl (1,5%) nhung diu chiim ty 16 rat thip Tan suat xdy ra mdu thuan tudn 1 din
2 ldn thi tap ttung chu ylu or cdc vdn de la thdi xdu cOa vg/chdng trong dn d hdng ngay (13,5%), bi ddnh dgp, chui nia, de dpa (8,5%), thilu trdch nhi^m trong ddng gdp kinh tl (5,5%) va khac nhau trong cdch chdm sdc vd dgy do con cai (5%) Ddi voi tin suit xdy rq mdu thuin theo thdng 1 ldn thi chii ylu a cdc vdn dl nhu thoi xdu cua vg/ch^ng trong an a hdng ngdy (27,5%), bi ddnh dap, chiri nia, de dga (22%), thieu Udch nhiem trong ddng gdp kinh te (13,5%) vd khdc nhau trong each chdm sdc va day d§ con cai (9,5%)
Bdng 1 Tan su^t xky ra mSu thuan vgr chdng ngirM dan t9c Ca Ho
Dan Vf: % Tan suat x&y ra mSu thuin
Cac v ^ de H^i;^^ Tuan 1 Thing] Vii thdng Khong Tong
ng^y din 2 lltn ikn 1 \m bao gid
Thieu tr&ch nhi^m trong d6ng g6p
kinhte
Khic nhau trong cich chSm s6c v^
d^y do con cii
Th6i xau cua vgr/chong trong 3n 6
h^g ng^y
Quan h^ gia dmh hai ben
S\r khic bi^t ve vSn h6a, hpc van,
dia V) xa h$i
Bi dinh d§p, chiii riia, de d^a
Khong h6a h^p d6i s6ng tinh dye
Chung
33,0 46,5
33,5 51,5 2,5
0,0 0,0 0,5 0,5 0,8
13,5 0,5 0,5 8,5 0,0 4,8
27,5 3,0 1,0 22,0 0,5 11,0
43,5 9,5 1,0 15,5 2,5 19,8
13,0 87,0 97,5 53,5 96,5 63,6
100,0 100,0 100,0 100,0 100,0 100,0
Chu thich: N-200
Nguon: Kit qud khdo sdt tai xd Gia Hiep ndm 2017
Mau thuin xdy ra vm thang mgt Ito chiSm ty 1$ cao nhat Cg th^ la mau thuan ve cac van de nhu thdi xiu cua vg/chdng trong an d hang ngay (chidm 43,5%), khac nhau trong each cham sdc va day do con cai (chi^m 33,5%), thi^u tr4ch nhijm trong ddng gdp kinh td (chiSm 33%), bi danh dap, chui nia, de dga (chidm 15,5%) v4 quan h? gia dinh hai ben (chiem 9,5%) Khi hdi vd vi$c giOa cac nhdm cd mtic sdng khdc nhau thi nhdm nao thudng d&ih dap vg con, cai nhau nhiSu hem thi mdt can bd cua thdn chia se:
Oddy CO noi la nhom khd tht khong co, thugc tir trung binh cho din ngheo hay xay
ra mau thudn, liic thi anh ldm cdi ndy khong dit, luc thi trd cdi kia khong xong
(Nil, can bg ph\i niS thdn, 59 tu6i)
Trang 84.4 Hinh thiic biiu hifn miu thuin vgr chong
Khi x4y ra m4u thuSn vg chong thi bidu hign dudi hinh thiic ldi ndi chiem t^ 1$ cao nhat la 66,0% Mau thuan vita bifo hien dudi hinh thilc ldi ndi vua bieu hi$n dudi hinh thUc hanh dgng ehiem ty 1$ gto bing mdt nua so vdi dudi hinh thiic ldi ndi (31,5%), cdn dudi hinh thiic hanh ddng chi chidm 2,5% Cd thd ndi ring hmh thiie bidu hi?n cua mau thuan vg chong ngudi d&i tgc Co Ho chii yeu la hmh thiic ldi ndi
Thvtc tien, hinh thiie bidu bi^n mSu thuan bang ldi ndi cting khd la da d?uig Trong khudn kho cua nghien cilu nay, tdc gia chi t^p trung tim hieu nam hinh thiic bieu hi?n chinh la: eai nhau/tranh li^n, mang, chili, dga danh dap, dga ly hdn va dga t\r til Cd tdi
195 ngudi cho rang mau thuan cua hg bidu hi^n bdng hinh thiic ldi ndi
Hinh 2 Hinh thire biiu hifn man thuan \tf chong ngirdi dan t$c C(r Ho
•s.§
3 t J
Ci "^
CQ
Bo ra ngoai mot thoi gian ngan
Uong bia, ni(7u/danh bai
Danh dap nhau, danh d i p con cii
Dap p h i do dac
Im l^ing, khong noi chuy?n
Doa ly h6n Dpa danh d i p
Mang, chiii Cai nhau/Tranh luin
• 8,7
I 22
1 22
7
5
• 4
17 S,5
59,1
57.4
0 / ^ 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100
Chu thich: N=200
Ngudn • Kit qud Ichdo sdt tai xa Gia Hiep ndm 2017
Trong cdc hinh thiic bieu hi^n mau thuin vg chdng bdng ldi ndi thi hinh thiic cai nhau/tranh luan cd ty le cao nhat (90,8%), tiep den la hinh thiic mang, chiH (57,4%), hinh thiic dga ddnh dap ehi gan bang mdt mia hinh thiie mdng, chili (22,6%) va thdp nhdt la hinh thiic dga ly hdn (8,7%) Ddi vdi hinh thiic bidu hien mau thuin vg chong bdng hdnh dgng, tdc gia tdp tnmg tim hieu d ndm hinh thiic bieu iii^n chfnh Id: im Idng/khdng ndi chuy$n, d|p phd dd dac, ddnh dap nhau/ddnh ddp con cdi, udng bia, rugu/ddnh bai vd bd
ra ngodi mdt thdi gian ngdn Cd 66 ngudi cho rdng hinh thiic bieu hidn mau thuin bdng hdnh ddng
Ci hinh thiic bieu hidn mdu thuin vg chdng bdng hanh dgng thi hinh thdc im lang, khdng ndi chuy?n cd ty Id cao nhit (59,1%) Hmh thiic dap phd do dac, hinh thiic uong bia, rugu/ddnh bdi vd hinh thiic ddnh dap nhau, ddnh dap con cdi thi ddu chiem ty 1$ xip
Trang 9mdt thdi gian ngdn (di d?io, tham ban be, ngudi than gia dinh ) cd ty \% thip nhat
(22,7%)
Khi hdi vd hinh thiic bidu hien mdu thuin vg chdng, mgt phy nft da ehia se:
Ugt tudn co khi yg chdng ddnh nhau 2-3 ldn; Ai an trdi minh cUng khong cho, khi do ong bi stmg to, din 3 gid sdng minh mdi cdi ra
(Nir, lam ndng, 47 tudi) Ndu nhu trong cdc nghien ciiu tnrdc ddy, hinh dnh ngudi chdng sii dung bao lyc bang hanh dgng nhu ddnh, dim, dd vdi ngudi vg thi trong nghien ciiu nay l!ii nhan thiy hinh dnh ngudi phu nu ddnh nhau vdi chdng nhimg lgi cd the trdi chdng lgi O cgng ddng ddn tdc Co Ho id theo chd do mlu he nen quydn luc ciia nam gidi khdng bdng nft gidi ve mgi phugng dien Theo ket qua nghien ciiu ciia Dao Thi Hieu (2016) da cho thay, so vdi ngudi dan tgc Kinh thi ngugi ddn tgc Co Ho it xdy ra mau thuan hon Ben cgnh dd, d ngudi dan tdc Cg Ho, ngudi vg thudng gay ra mdu thudn trudc hon so vdi ngudi chong Ket qud nghien ciiu dinh tinh cung dd cho thay khi vg chdng ngudi dan tdc Co Ho xay ra mdu thudn thi ngudi chdng thudng im lang vd thudng tim den rugu liay cdc eu^e vui choi khdc vdi ban be Mdu thuan xay ra giua vg ch^ng d ngudi dan t0c Co Ho chu ydu Id thi hien dudi hinh thiic bdng lgi ndi
Ben cjnh dd, cd nhung cdp vg ch6ng thi khdng ddnh nhau ma la bd di dao xung quanh cho bdt tuc gidn nhau, bd di udng rugu vdi b ^ be, hay Id "dd gao" Mgt y kidn cua ngudi phu nft khde da eho bidt:
Cu nguai kia di ben kia, nguai ng di ben ng, di quanh trong vudn thoi Hoac chai vdi chdu roi Idt nUa quay lgi thoi, ddu cd sao ddu Cd mgt ldn thi tiic qud mdy ong
di uong vdi bgn be dd, roi chi do gao ludn, theo phong tuc cUa ddn tgc dy
(Nft, Idm ndng, 48 tudi) Tai cgng ddng ngudi ddn tdc Co Ho, viec ngudi vg "dd g£io" ddi vdi ngudi chdng thi cd nghia la dd dudi ngudi chdng vd bdn nha me de cua minh Thdng thudng,
hg dd mdt Ion ggo trude sdn dd ngudi chdng thdy Khi dd, ngudi phu nft da khdng cdn mudn chdp nhdn ngudi chdng cua minh va cd y mudn dudi anh ta ra khdi ngdi nha cia minh Dd la mdt hdnh vi dugc hanh xft theg phong tuc cua cdng ddng ngudi dan tdc
Co Ho
5 Cach thu-c giai quyet mau thuan vg chong d dan tgc Cff Ho
Khi xay ra mdu thuan trong gia dinh thi ai eung mudn gidi quydt vin dd dd mgt cdch nidt de nham lam cho gia dinh trd nen hanh phiic hem Nhung each thftc dd gidi quySt mdu thuan nhu thd ndo thi cdn phu thugc vao muc dg, tinh chit nghidm trgng ciia mdu thudn dd Voi mdt cgng ddng dan cu theo chd do mau he thi cdch thiic giai quydt mdu thuan vg chdng se dugc phan tich trong muc nay
Y kien dugc nhidu ngudi lira chgn nhit khi ndi vd hinh thiic gidi quydt mau thuan vg chdng Id hai vg chdng chu ddng lam hda (64,5%) Ben canh dd, hinh thiic
Trang 10ngudi thdn trong gia dinh va chdng hda gidi cung cliidm ty 1? khd cao (63%) Hinh
thuc ngudri chdng lam hda truoc thi cao hcnn so vdi hinh thiic ngudi vcf lam hda trudc
(33% so vdi 14,5%) Phai chang do ngudi ch6ng thudng gay ra mdu thuin trudc hay
Id do ngudi phu nii Id chu gia dinh nen ngudi chdng sg chii dpng lam hda Cdn s\r tham gia gidi quyet mau thuan vgr chdng ciia chinh quygn, td churc xd hpi Id rat thdp (5%)
Hinh 3 Hinh thuc giai quylt mlu thula vi^ chong nguiri dSn tgc Co* Ho
I Vq lam hoa Hai vg chong De
tnidc chu dQDg 1 ^
[dl than Ngiroi troDg Chinh q
inn ftinh dhnii hn hnn tn chirc ;
Nguoi than Ngiroi trong Chinh quyen, Khac tiong gia dinh ddng hg hoa (6 chuc xS hgi
vo ch6ng hoa giai hoa giai
Chu thich: N=200
Nguon • Kit qua khdo sdt cua de tdi
Cung nhu hinh thuc bieu hi?n mdu thuan, hinh thiic gidi quydt mdu thuan ciia vp chdng ciia ngudi ddn tdc Co Ho cung chu yeu bang ldi ndi (86%) Ty le gidi quy^t bdng
ca ldi ndi vd hdnh ddng chiem 12%, vd gidi quylt bdng hdnh dpng, cii chi, thai dp chi chiSm 2%
Hinh 4 cho thdy, each giai quyet mdu thuan ciia vp chong bdng ldi xin loi chiim ty
le cao nhdt (77,2%) Giai quyet bdng cdch gidi thich, gdp y chiem ty \% 54,8%, gdp hon 4
lan so vdi gidi quylt bdng nhihig ldi d6 ddnh/ninh not (13,2%) Ngodi ra, mpt sd ngudi cdn giai quyet bang hanh vi khdc (vi du nhu la vp chdng lam trd hi vdi nhau ) nhung chi chiem ty le rdt nhd Khi hdi ve viec vp chdng khdng t\r gidi quylt mau thuan ciia minh thi se nhu the ndo? Mot can bd cua xa, ngudi dan tdc Co Ho da cho bilt:
Ben chi neu md ai co mdu thudn lan thi nguai chong se vi nha m?, nhung niu minh muon chong ve ben minh thi minh lgi la ngudi di ru&c chdng vi, rdi xin loi, con khong neu ma va kien quyet khong don thi ben ngi lgi dua chdng minh ve