FINDING A GROWN-UP FAITH FIVE STEPS TO A FAITH THAT WORKS

.” God cares about our spiritual health and growth, and God is always working and trying to find ways to reach us and help us mature as people of faith.. People who can give us advice at

FINDING A GROWN-UP FAITH:

FIVE STEPS TO A FAITH

THAT WORKS

Rev Elder Nancy Wilson

Originally Developed for Church of the Trinity MCC, Sarasota, FL, USA

February/March 2005

Table of Contents Step One - Asking the Right Questions 2 Step Two - Deepening Your Faith 6 Step Three - Jesus and Faith 11 Step Four - Practicing Faith: Faith in Action 16 Step Five – Sharing Faith 20

Step One - Asking the Right Questions

Have you ever noticed how many questions children ask? They do that because they need to, because so much is new to them, and strange, and unfamiliar And because children are

naturally curious!

A healthy environment is one that encourages children and adults to ask critical and important

questions Some of us grew up in healthy environments, in church or at home that encouraged our questions, some of us did not Most of us experienced mixed messages, knowing perhaps, that there were some questions we just should not ask!

Talking Point

 Remember when you were a young person and you would ask for anything you

wanted! It was okay to ask Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy for things and believe you would receive your wish Share an experience you had based on this

"belief".

_ _

The trouble is, as adults we are expected to have all the answers Or as we grow up, we are expected to suppress our questioning, to be content with the same, old, sometimes “pat,”

answers

To have a healthy faith is to have the freedom and encouragement to ask questions, some of which may have easy answers, some of which may not Rev Troy Perry, the Founder of MCC would say, “ I never want to belong to a church where I cannot ask a question, even if, to some people, it seems like a stupid question.” Troy grew up in a religious environment that

discouraged questioning church doctrines, teachings, practices or leaders

In MCC, we treasure our freedom and our diversity We can question our church leaders, locally and denomination-wide Hopefully, we can disagree with them without being ostracized or kicked out of the church We can tolerate a wide range of views, and yet still feel strongly about our own opinions We can change our minds, we can grow spiritually

Talking Point

 Share with the group a belief or question you had that was "different" from that of

your previous church/faith experience.

 Is the Metropolitan Community Church ideal of freedom and diversity true of your

experience? And, how does this impact your spiritual growth?

Did you know that the Bible is full of questions? Some of these questions have answers, some allude to answers, some are rhetorical Here is a list to jog your memory:

 “God has shown you, O human, what is good: and what does the Lord require of you?” (Micah 6: 8)

 “What must I do to be saved?” (Acts 16:30)

 “Am I my brother’s keeper? (Genesis 4:9)

 “What mean these stones?” (Joshua 4:6)

 “When did we see you hungry, thirsty, naked, sick or in prison?” (Matthew 25:37)

 “Is there balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole?” (Jer 8:22)

 “Woman, why are you weeping?” (John 20:15)

 “Who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29)

 “Are you the One, or should we look for another?” (Matthew 11:3)

 “Which is the greatest commandment?” (Matthew 22:36)

 “Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands ofrobbers?” (Luke 10:36)

 “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” (Acts 9:4)

 “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Ps 22/Mark 15:34)

 “Who do you say that I am?” (Mark 8:27)

 “Who shall I say sent me (to Pharaoh)?” (Exodus 3:13 8)

 “What can separate us from the love of God?” (Romans 8:35)

 “Who told you that you were naked?” (Gen 3:11)

 “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31)

Some of these questions are asked by God, by prophets, or by ordinary people

Talking Point

 Considering these thoughts from the Bible, share with the group:

1 Which of these biblical questions touches you? Why?

People of faith are people who are asked questions and who ask them What on earth am I here for? Who is God to me today? What difference does it make to have relationship with God?

If you love someone, you are curious about them You want to know more about them, what theythink, feel, who they are, what their plans are, their hopes and dreams, their fears and their values To be in a relationship with anyone, is to participate in a long conversation The

conversation has interruptions, for sure, but it continues to ask and answer questions

To love someone is to also appreciate that ultimately, the other is mysterious, and not completely knowable We can know someone for a very long, time, very intimately, but we can never

exhaust what there is to know about them Every one has a core of “unknowability.” The same istrue, perhaps even more so, with God We can never know all there is to know about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit or our faith We can simply be willing to continue to ask questions, learn and grow closer God is the One who is Beyond us, Beside us and Within us

Some of the questions we may have about God are, “Who are you, really?” What is God’s nature, and how do we know who God really is? The Bible says a lot of things about God, from

a lot of different perspectives From a Christian point of view, it really does boil down to a few,

simple things God is love God’s nature is love, and God’s purpose for us is to be in a loving

relationship with God, our neighbor and our deepest selves

But, those answers lead to other questions that people have asked for a long time: What is love? Who is my neighbor? Isn’t loving myself selfish? How do I “love” God, whom I cannot see? What can I count on God for?

Talking Point

 Share with the group:

Suppose you were a contestant on The Millionaire! You can ask any question you wanted! And, GOD is your lifeline! Go, ahead ask!!

I have an aunt who has always been deeply religious and faithful She had five children, and loved being a mom In fact, when her kids grew up, she started a day care center for toddlers in her home

When her oldest son was in his early 20s, he was killed in a car accident I remember seeing her

a few months later She was struggling very hard, because she said, “The one thing I always asked of God was to keep my children safe.” It took a long time for her to heal from that grief, the deep disappointment in God, and to face the tough, adult questions: “Why didn’t God

answer my prayers in the way I had hoped?” “If I can’t count on God for keeping my children safe, what can I count on God for?” “What good are you, God?” Not only did she have grief over the loss of her son, but she had the additional pain of losing a less sophisticated view of God Somehow, even with all she knew about the world, and the tragedies that happen every

day, she had felt reasonably secure that her simple faith in God would keep her children safe

Like magic

But faith is not magical And tragedies happen to everyone, including people with enormous faith and trust in God My aunt had to re-connect with God in a new way She learned that she could not count on God to always keep her children safe But she could count on God to help herthrough anything that life presented her, including profound loss She needed God again when her husband died of cancer a few years later She came to a deeper acceptance of the arbitrariness

of life and death, and that our relationship with God does not protect us from pain, but can help

us move through it God is ultimately the Resource we can count on for strength, endurance, hope, and peace, in the midst of the storms

And, yet, we do pray to God for “favors,” for help and intervention Marjorie Suchocki has a marvelous way of thinking about that in her essay on “Intercessory Prayer.” She believes that God can use our energy and collective prayers to actually accomplish things that could not be accomplished otherwise That we can sometimes also be the answers to our own prayers But, as

we know there are no guarantees; there is no failsafe, magical system through which we can manipulate God

So many people have their childhood, magical thinking about God (“Jesus loves you, but I’m His favorite!”) challenged, or even crushed, and never have it restored Some of those people end up in MCC, looking for community; looking for, I believe, a more adult, grown up faith

Talking Point

 Share with the group: Share an experience when your energy through prayer has

accomplished something that otherwise might not have happened In what way did this impact your faith?

Or

 What do you think you can count on God for?

_ _

SHARING FAITH/CLOSING

In a sentence or two share concerns and needs with each other.

From your "prayer circle" pray briefly for the one on your right, either silently or aloud (When finished, say amen if praying silently).

Step 2 - Deepening Your Faith

Talking Point

 Have you ever been part of a tag team or run a sack race? It took cooperation from

all participants to complete the course, much less win the race! Share an experience you have had as part of a "team", whether a sporting event or other task How did being part of the team enlarge the possibilities?

I have a friend who complains that the problems with many churches, including even some growing churches, is that they are “a mile wide and an inch deep!” By that, of course, she means that sometimes our churches focus on the basics so much so that people who are there a long time may feel like there is not enough to challenge them, to help them continue to grow

spiritually That becomes a problem with the “back door” of the church: people keep coming in the front door, but just as many go out the back door because there is not enough to hold them

What holds people are significant relationships and the encouragement to grow spiritually.

Adults need an active, engaged faith that can measure up to adult concerns and needs Each of us

is responsible for the deepening of our spiritual lives, just as we are responsible for our personal finances, our health, our relationships, our work or vocation Sometimes we have been lazy or passive about our spiritual lives, much like a garden that we have neglected and allowed to become overgrown I love the old rabbinical saying, “I have to pray like it is all up to God, and work like it is all up to me .”

God cares about our spiritual health and growth, and God is always working and trying to find ways to reach us and help us mature as people of faith But we also have to do the “footwork,”

to respond to the opportunities that are presented to us every day

Our spiritual life is an adventure that has phases, chapters, twists and turns! It is impacted by losses we face, challenges we accept, decisions we make every day Leaving home, life passages,becoming middle aged, facing aging: all these things can affect our spiritual journey There are people who actually study adult spiritual development and its many phases – from adolescence through early adulthood, middle age and aging

Talking Point

 During your spiritual journey you have probably met people you "connected with"

1 Think of someone who has helped deepen your faith to "see God in the

situation" and share with the group what tools or special experiences they

brought to your faith growth.

2 Share in what ways they were helpful when you were faced with choices or how

they guided you to read road signs or choose direction at cross roads.

_ _

I was really touched by what Anne Morrow Lindberg wrote about mid-life in Gift from the Sea:

and though she is talking about mid-life, I think what she says touches anyone who is struggling

to deepen their faith:

Is it not possible that middle age can be looked upon as a period of second

flowering, second growth ? The signs that presage growth are similar to those

in early adolescence: discontent, restlessness, doubt, despair, longing Who is not

afraid of pure space – that breathtaking empty space of an open door? .But now

these are interpreted falsely as signs of decay in middle age because of false

assumptions, one interprets these life-signs, paradoxically, as signs of approaching

death Instead of facing them, one runs away One tries to cure the signs of

growth: to exorcise them as if they were devils, when really they might be angels

of annunciation Annunciation of what? Of a new stage in living … where

one might be freer to fulfill the neglected side of one’s self

We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships, we leap

at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb We are afraid it will never return

Here is a prayer for those in the “Middle years” of opportunity, or for anyone who wants to grow spiritually

Lord, help me now to un-clutter my life,

To organize myself in the direction of simplicity.

Lord, teach me to listen to my heart;

Teach me to welcome change instead of fearing it.

Lord, I give You these stirrings inside of me,

I give You my discontent,

I give You my restlessness,

I give You my doubt,

I give You my despair,

I give You all the longings I hold inside.

Help me to listen to these signs of change, of growth;

To listen seriously and follow where they lead

Through the breathtaking empty space of an open door

_

_

Talking Point

 Share with the group:

1 Which of these statements touches you most?

2 What else would you add to "make this" your prayer?

_ _

God is the God of the open door Do we have the courage to walk through it?

All of us have had, along the way, mentors, teachers and soul-friends that have made a

difference, in some small or large way, in helping us walk through open doors, or even ones that seemed previously closed

I had a math teacher in 7th grade, Mr Freeman I was terrible at math, but fascinated by him, the first African American teacher I had ever known He came to our house to sell us a set of

encyclopedia, and that changed my life My parents spent money they really could ill afford, but

I spent the next few years devouring those volumes for the pleasure of learning (and to use to write term papers!) During some tough and lonely years of adolescence, though I never

succeeded much at math, I had the world to explore through those books

Then there was the assistant pastor of the church I grew up in, who invited me at age 13 to be theco-celebrant with him every Wednesday morning, at 7:00 AM for our Lenten mid-week

communion, something unheard of for someone my age and gender Kneeling with him there, helping him serve communion, I knew in my heart that this was what I wanted to do forever I will never know exactly what made him offer me that unusual opportunity, but I will always be grateful And, also to my mother who drove me there every Wednesday, an hour before school started!

And, I think of the Pastor of the church in downtown Detroit that hosted MCC Detroit for many years Dr Devor told me to go back to school, and finish my seminary degree, which I had not been able to do before leaving Boston In 1976 he told me that “years from now” I would be speaking to ecumenical groups, and that I would be a leader in MCC, and I would be in so much better a position to do that if I had my degree How did he know? I took his advice to heart, and when the nearest Methodist seminary rejected me because I was gay, I applied to a Roman Catholic Seminary, which admitted me, and from which I received my divinity degree

All along my path, God has sent women and men to me who have inspired me, critiqued me, challenged and encouraged me Some I sought out and some sought me out

And there have been spiritual friends, peers, people who have been my prayer partners, who havewalked long roads with me, who have been there in difficult times in my life, as well as joyful times; people who have been on my staff, or colleagues from other MCC churches, or from outside of MCC altogether.

All of us need mentors and spiritual friends People who can give us advice at critical moments,

or who can ask us the question, “Where is God in this?”

Jesus needed spiritual friends Even he could not do his ministry alone, even though he sought out time alone to pray, and had times of terrible aloneness, even abandonment Still, he sought out imperfect, but willing, spiritual companions

Sometimes our spiritual companions are in books Do you have a favorite devotional? A

spiritual book that you return to again and again? Have you ever been on a retreat? Alone or with others? Where did you find spiritual refreshment? Have you ever had a prayer partner? Some of us are on a starvation diet spiritually Coming to church regularly is a good start, but more than that is required to really grow And, there is also a lot of spiritual “junk food” out there Do you have people, teachers, mentors that you can trust to help direct you to positive, excellent tools for spiritual growth?

_

Talking Point

 Share with the group: Think of the spiritual "tools" mentioned above as well as

others you have experienced in your faith journey.

1 What "tools" do you find useful in your spiritual growth?

2 Which ones are a challenge to use?

_

Marcus Borg says that “faith is at the heart of Christianity.” He has four meanings of faith that I think are worth considering as we think about taking responsibility for deepening our faith:

1) Faith as “assensus:” which means “assent.” For some people, being a Christian is a

matter of believing the “right things.” But Borg challenges us with the words from the gospel of Mark, where the father of the boy who is ill says to Jesus, “I believe, help my unbelief!” Borg says that to “believe God’ is to “belove God.” Faith is not just about ourheads, or ideas, it is about our hearts The Latin word for belief, in fact is “credo,” which means, “I give my heart to.” What do you want to give your heart to?

2) Faith as “fiducia:” this is faith as radical trust in God Borg says, “Faith as trust is like

floating in a deep ocean .If you struggle, if you tense up and thrash about, you will eventually sink But if you relax and trust, you will float.” To have this kind of faith is to see God as a safe “place” for us, free from anxiety or worry Borg quotes the Sermon on the Mount, from Matthew 6, where Jesus asks us to “Consider the birds of the air.: ”

Borg reminds us that four times in that passage Jesus uses the phrase” don’t worry.” Radical trust, says Borg, has transforming power.

3) Faith as “fidelitas:” This is faith as “fidelity.” Borg says, “Faith is faithfulness to our

relationship with God loyalty, allegiance the commitment of the self at its deepest

level Further, he says, it is not so much faithfulness to statements about God, but

faithfulness to God to whom the Bible and creeds and doctrines point To be faithful is to

be centered on God The opposite of faith is really “idolatry”, which is the term given forcentering our lives on something other than God There are so many things that compete for our loyalty Do we know how to be faithful to God?

4) Faith as “visio:” This is faith “as a way of seeing.” Faith is about seeing the “big

picture.” Whenever we get discouraged, or overwhelmed, or even frightened or anxious,

it is so helpful to broaden our vision, to see the bigger picture, more of the plan It helps

us put our lives and problems in perspective, it helps us remember why we are doing what we are doing! For Borg it is also about a fundamental way of seeing life: as

nourishing, and full of wonder and beauty To see reality itself as really gracious: that God is just and generous and wants the best for all of us

_

Talking Point

 Share with the group: Each of these four meanings of faith are tools to develop our

faith.

1, Which of these do you relate to most strongly?

a Faith as "assensus": say yes; a matter of the heart

b Faith as "fiducia": trust, believe what you can trust

c Faith as "fidelitas": committed, centered, loyal, focused

d Faith as "visio”: perspective, seeing the good plan

2 Which is most challenging to you?

3 In what way are these tools helpful at your church or faith community in

deepening your faith?

_ _

SHARING FAITH

In a sentence or two share concerns and needs with each other Pray briefly for the one on your right either silently or aloud (When you are finished say amen if praying silently.)

Step 3 - Jesus and Faith _ _

Talking Point

 Growing up we all had "heroes and heroines! They were just what we wanted to be

when we grew up! Think of someone who was "near and dear to your heart"? What about them was special to you? How did the way they lived their life let you know them?

_ _

Who was Jesus? And who is Jesus Christ today for you and me, our church community and the world?

Chris Glaser, at a retreat he lead for Church of the Trinity MCC, asked attendees to spend some time thinking about how we were first introduced to Jesus as children

Talking Point

 Do you remember when you first learned about Jesus (or if you did)?

 What was your image or concept of him then?

 How do you see Jesus today, and, what are the differences?

Christianity is a mix of the faith of Jesus, the faith about Jesus and the faith in Jesus Marcus Borg, in The Heart of Christianity says that the centrality of Jesus is critical for our faith But what does that mean?

Borg says that Jesus, for us, is the “Heart of God.” Jesus’ birth, life, ministry, conflicts,

struggles, words, deeds, crucifixion and resurrection are all very powerful clues to the nature of God We believe that in some mysterious, amazing way, “God was in Christ, reconciling the world to God’s self.” (2 Corinthians 5:19)

Jesus has also always been controversial! In every age, theologians, and teachers and ordinary Christians have struggled with what it means to follow him

In the 19th Century, there was a movement that focused on the “Quest for the Historical Jesus,” asarcheologists and historians tried to get closer to the mystery In the 1920’s, one bestseller proclaimed Jesus to be the “Greatest Salesman Ever,” and Peter Marshall wrote his classic working “man’s" spiritual book, “Mister Jones, Meet the Master.” In the late 20th century, the

“Jesus Seminar” was born, that tried to use literary and technical means to distill which were

Jesus’ precise, actual, original words in the gospels Another author wrote, Jesus, CEO In recent years Philip Yancey wrote, “The Jesus I Never Knew,” and Marcus Borg also wrote a book, “Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time.” More books have been written about this person, who never lived to be 40 and who never wrote a book himself, than about anyone else before or since!

Traditional Christian thought and doctrine has always struggled with Jesus’ nature – that he was fully divine and fully human What often happens, is that the tension collapses: Most Christians see Jesus as primarily divine, while non-Christians, and less orthodox Christians, see him has

“only human.” Both view points are incomplete!

I think it would be good for those of us who see God in Jesus to spend a long time really

imagining Jesus as fully human I think it is hard for many people to really imagine Jesus living

an ordinary, embodied life We have a stained glass image of Jesus Jesus did not want us to see him as so different from us! He wanted us to identify with him, make his cause our own, and be willing to do “even greater things” than he did! When I think of Jesus as having a real life, real relationships with other people; when I think that he needed food and rest and comfort and friends, it makes an amazing difference Jesus laughed and cried, got angry and loved deeply Jesus, for Christians, is not merely a “divine figure” from the past: he is a living, active presence

in those who love and follow him and in the community/ movement called the “church” that he founded It was the Risen Christ, alive and in their midst that inspired the early church to risk and experience explosive growth That Living Christ is available, ready and waiting for us, today

William Sloan Coffin (author, former Chaplin of Yale University) said that for Christians, “God

is defined by Jesus, but not confined by Jesus.” Krister Stendahl, theologian, said, “We

Christians can sing our love songs to Jesus with wild abandon without needing to demean other religions.” In a pluralistic world, sometimes it is hard for Christians to claim Jesus' unique role

in revealing God, without being perceived as exclusivist

Talking Point

 Share with the group:

1 Which do you struggle to embrace the most? Jesus’ divinity or

humanity? Why?

Marcus Borg offers us 5 roles that were essential to Jesus’ self-understanding:

1) Jesus as Jewish Mystic: a mystic is one whose life is radically centered on God Jesus knew

God on intimate terms, and he was a Jew, steeped in the Jewish scriptures and traditions, while

being a loving critic of his own religious leaders and their interpretation of “the law.” Jesus was aperson of prayer and communion with God who was beyond him, beside him and so obviously within him.

2) Jesus as Healer: Jesus’ healing ministry was remarkable and outstanding Jesus healed the

body, mind and spirit, dispensing forgiveness with physical miracles He saw the

interconnections He also healed many who were “outcasts,” sometimes healing their social status as well as their bodies and minds He healed relationships As Christians, we trust that the Risen Jesus is available today, this very minute, to offer healing through us and in us Have you ever been healed? Do you know someone who has experienced healing?

3) Jesus as Storyteller and Teacher: As a preacher, I love this one As a child, I loved “The

Stories of Jesus.” Jesus offered an “alternative wisdom” says Marcus Borg, he would say “You have heard it said but I say to you!” Jesus taught with “authority” which means he sounded like he knew what he was talking about When he taught, he was not arrogant, but he was

confident He could communicate, beautifully, the heart of God, God’s deepest longings for connection to us His parables (The Prodigal Son, The Good Samaritan, the Pearl of Great Price) are as alive and relevant today as 2,000 years ago The stories about him continue to give hope to

so many The Sermon on the Mount is a work of art – still waiting for us to live up to its

uncompromising ideals

4) Jesus as Social Prophet: Jesus was a friend of the poor, of sinners, of those whom other

people thought were not good enough to be “religious.” Jesus challenged people about their narrow definitions of “neighbor.” He understood all too well the “structures of domination” that oppressed so many people He practiced an “open table fellowship” that drew intense criticism,

as he “ate and drank with sinners.” Jesus was conscious of social and political injustice, and spoke up against it He reached out to women in extraordinary ways, having theological

conversations with them He conversed with Samaritans, healed lepers, went to the homes of notorious tax collectors, allowed prostitutes to follow him He preached about a vision of a

“kingdom/realm” of God that would be a time and place where God’s love and justice would be the only rule

5) Jesus as Movement Initiator/Founder: Jesus, more than anything, sought to create a

“beloved community” that would out-live him in his earthly life, and would turn the world and the structures of domination upside down Sometimes today, the church actually embodies and lives up to that ideal All too often, the church itself has become just another “structure of

domination” that upholds the power structures that are in place Sometimes the church has joined the ranks of the oppressors Sometimes the church has betrayed its calling and its founder But, in every age, God seems to raise up new followers of Jesus who see his Movement with newclarity and conviction On our best days, I think this is what MCC can be

_

Talking Point

 Share with the group:

1 Which of these "Jesus roles" have been most relevant in your faith experience?

2 Which role seems less familiar?

3 Which of these roles have been part of your church experience?

_

Marcus Borg tells this story that illustrates the struggles and alienation many have with

competing views of Jesus:

In her recent book about the working poor in America (Nickled and Dimed),

Barbara Ehrenreich writes about going to a tent revival meeting in Portland,

Maine (Barbara, who has a PhD, was doing a social experiment by trying to work

a minimum wage job and see if she could survive and keep a roof over her head

After three months, she found she could not.) The preacher’s theme was “Jesus on

the cross” and the importance of believing in him in order to go to heaven As she

listened to him, and looked around at the mostly very impoverished audience, she

thought:

It would be nice if someone would read this sad-eyed crowd the Sermon on the

Mount, accompanied by a rousing commentary on income inequality and the need

for a hike in the minimum wage But Jesus makes his appearance here only as a

corpse; the living man, the wine-drinking vagrant and precocious socialist, is

never once mentioned, nor anything he ever had to say Christ crucified rules,

and it may be that the true business of modern Christianity is to crucify him again

and again so that he can never get a word out of his mouth.

She concludes:

I get up to leave, timing my exit for when the preacher’s metronomic head

movements have him looking the other way, and walk out to search for my car,

half expecting to find Jesus out there in the dark, gagged and tethered to a tent

pole.

Those are shocking, powerful words, that may even offend us, but express well my discomfort for what passes as Christian preaching and teaching So many who come to MCC have been subjected to versions of Jesus and Christianity that have filled them with guilt and shame, and ultimately alienated them from God and from community

What would it mean to see Jesus with new eyes and to hear him with new ears today? What would Jesus do and what would he say to you? To us?

For me, Jesus is that amazing Friend From the time I was very young, something about his embodiment of love and justice just captured my heart and my imagination There have been times I have not been as faithful to that relationship, or as aware of Jesus’ presence But the