Elite Leadership: A collection of Leadership articles By Mark Wager doc

Table of ContentsChapter 1: Introduction Chapter 2: The First Inspiration Chapter 3: Three things that every manager should never forget Chapter 4: Winning without honour Chapter 5: Seve

Elite Leadership:

A collection of Leadership articles

By Mark Wager

Copyright ©Mark Wager 2013 All rights reserved

Published by Elite LD LimitedCover image courtesy of Master isolated images at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system or

transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, digital mechanical, recording, any futuretechnologies developed or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer: This book is for educational purposes only and not intendedfor use as any type of psychotherapy or used as a diagnostic instrument The advice andstrategies contained herein may not be suitable in situations that require professionaltherapy and advice You should consult with a professional where appropriate Neither thepublisher not author shall be liable for any loss or profit or any other commercial damages,

including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages

Printed in New ZealandVisit Elite LD Limited at www.eliteld.co.nz

To my wife for all her love and support

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Introduction

Chapter 2: The First Inspiration

Chapter 3: Three things that every manager should never forget

Chapter 4: Winning without honour

Chapter 5: Seven lessons that every new Manager should learn

Chapter 6: Why so angry?

Chapter 7: Ancient warriors show the path to success

Chapter 8: turning a Manager into a Leader

Chapter 9: How to inspire your team

Chapter 10: Top tips for first time Managers

Chapter 11: Top tips for employee engagement

Chapter 12: tips to hold an effective meeting

Chapter 13: The real reason why your dreams are not coming true

Chapter 14: The Phoenix within us

Chapter 15: The one lesson you won’t learn on a Management course

Chapter 16: the Leadership formula

Chapter 17: The essential ingredient of success

Chapter 18: What separates the extraordinary from the ordinary

Chapter 19: Seven ways to create the perfect team

Chapter 20: R.I.S.E to meet your goals

Chapter 21: 100 inspirational quotes

Chapter 22: The psychological difference between winning and losing teamsChapter 23: Managing conflict

Chapter 24: Managerial courage

Chapter 25: Looking for inspiration? Look at Ronda Rousey

Chapter 26: Managing your team’s wellbeing

Chapter 27: Lessons from the Olympics

Chapter 28: It’s time for employers to take a change when recruiting

Chapter 29: Inspirational quotes from Bruce Lee

Chapter 30: How to move on after a break-up

Chapter 31: How to deal with poor performing staff

Chapter 32: Five mistakes that Managers make during a change processChapter 33: Does your team really want to be successful?

Chapter 34: How to communicate like a world-class leader

Chapter 35: Leadership in football

Chapter 36: Leadership lessons from Sun Tzu and The Art of War

Chapter 37: Are you walking in darkness?

Chapter 38: Are you too quiet to be a leader?

Chapter 39: Are you really a leader?

Chapter 40: Are you judging people fairly?

Chapter 41: 101 motivational quotes

Chapter 42: Ten signs that you need some leadership coaching

Chapter 43: Seven reasons why your boss is a jerk

Chapter 44: The greatest leadership quotes ever

Chapter 45: The most inspirational UFC quotes

Chapter 46: The four elements of conflict

Chapter 47: The first step towards greatness

Introduction:

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more,you are a leader."

John Quincy Adams

When I sat down to write this introduction, I wanted to reflect on when my own journey as

a Leader first started Was it when I first started writing articles? No it was long beforethat I thought about my first job working in retail but no, I felt I was a leader before that.Thinking back, I believe I first wanted to become a Leader when I was six years old

When I was six, I remember my father coming home and handing me a comic It wascalled “DC superheroes” and it was a collection of stories from the main characters from

DC Comics, Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman I sat in my room full of excitementwondering what adventures awaited me when I opened the pages As a child I was a bit of

a loner and I had great difficulty speaking It was frustrating not being able to fully expressmyself I often found the most comfortable time was when I was alone in my room

As I opened the pages I read the story of Superman, a hero who seemed perfect Hecould fly, had super strength and even x-ray vision As an imperfect little boy reading aboutsuch perfection was very boring, so I moved onto the next story i.e Wonder Woman As asix year old, I found girls silly and boring and quickly moved on to the final story The storywas called “There is no hope in Crime Alley.” I knew who Batman was from the TV series,

a light headed comedy character In the story, Batman spots two men mugging an old lady

in Crime Alley As Batman swoops down to stop the muggers one of them pulls a gun onhim and Crime Alley was the same place that he saw his parents shot in front of him when

he was a child Suddenly Batman loses it and in a fit of rage beats the mugger to within aninch of his life and only stopped because of the pleas of the old lady At that moment I sawsomeone who wasn’t perfect like Superman In fact Batman was pretty messed up yet hewanted to help, even going to extreme lengths He couldn’t fly; he didn’t have super humanstrength or even x-ray vision He was just a normal guy who pushed himself to

extraordinary lengths in order to make a difference

It was at that moment that as a young six year old boy I realised that just because I

wasn’t perfect it did not mean I could not help people In some way my imperfection couldhelp me to assist people At six I didn’t know how this would materialise but I knew I couldmake a difference The next day at school I persuaded half my class to join me in trying to

fly like Superman by running as fast as I could of the top of the stairs A teacher found me

on the floor smiling with my tooth broken in half along with my classmates all suffering from

a collection of cuts and bruises, needless to say none of us managed to fly Despite my firstfailed attempt I have always endeavoured to try and inspire people to succeed and if not flythen become the best that they could be This book you are reading is my latest attempt to

do so

I hope you find something in this collection of articles that will inspire you to dream a littlebit more, hopefully learn a little bit more This will be something to drive you to do a little bitmore and finally provide you with some impetus to become something more This book willmake you the person you were always meant to be

A bank robber/international jewel thief

As I got older I realised that career preference number one was never going to happendue to a physical condition I have, that is I’m no good at football My second career

preference disappeared when I found out the surprising news that being exposed to

radiation or being struck by lightning didn’t give people special powers but instead killedpeople That left me with career option three which was a life of crime I had done my

research by watching Michael Caine in “The Italian job” five times, yet I found that when Iraised this with a career counsellor, let’s say the reaction wasn’t very positive My parentslaughed at the suggestion and pointed out that I had great difficulty with even the smallestwhite lie let alone breaking the law This left me with the question of what career should Ichose? The answer came from an unusual place

I was born in Falcon Lodge, a small suburb of Sutton Coldfield, which is a town withinBirmingham in the United Kingdom Falcon lodge was and maybe still is a very poor areawith low cost housing, yet the wider area of Sutton Coldfield was considered a wealthyarea This contrast was reflected in the local school I attended with some children frommiddle class families alongside children from low-income households This difference wasnever more apparent than when it was time for the school’s annual skiing trip The rich kidswho were the majority of the class had their bags packed for Switzerland while the kidswho remained had to stay in a near empty school This particular year the remaining

children were called to the Headmaster's office He sat us down and told us that the schoolwere invited to send along their brightest students to a two-day course entitled “Managers

of industry” where students would listen to senior Managers from different fields talkingabout their experiences and students would be given opportunities to participate in

leadership exercises and workshops The Headmaster explained that this was a uniqueopportunity only available to a select few students who had demonstrated potential to make

a mark in the world The pride we all felt quickly disappeared when the Headmaster placedhis head in his hands and said that those “high-potential” students were now skiing and wewere all he had left so we had to go The meeting finished with the motivational words “Idon’t expect much, just stay out of trouble."

The course started interestingly enough with the question of “hands up if you are a

Manager?” The students looked blankly at each other and no one raised their hands Thespeaker then elaborated “Who here manages someone?” Slowly students started to raisetheir hands I was still confused and only raised my hand because everyone around me did.The speaker then explained that we were all managers because we managed ourselves.This sparked my interest but that interest was quickly extinguished when we started theworkshops The purpose of the first workshop was to demonstrate the benefits of the

production line theory Students were jostling for control desperate to make an impressionand working-class children like me stuck out like a sore thumb Like most places I felt Ididn’t belong and I used the lunch-break to skip away to do my own thing It was then that Ifound my first inspiration

I skipped class to go to my local cinema, a regular haunt of children who skipped school

I looked at the movies on offer and couldn’t see any of my “type” of movie meaning lots ofviolence and car chases, but I was desperate not to go back to class so I picked the nextmovie that was showing “Henry V” directed and starring Kenneth Branagh My only

knowledge of Shakespeare was that we shared the same birthday and he was dead but itwas better than being in class To my surprise I enjoyed the movie and it had its fair share

of violence to keep me engaged Towards the end of the movie on the eve of the final

battle, Henry the King delivers a speech to his men

KING (Henry V)

"If we are marked to die, we are enough

To do our country loss; and if to live,

The fewer men, the greater share of honour

God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one man more

By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,

Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;

It yearns me not if men my garments wear;

Such outward things dwell not in my desires;

But if it be a sin to covet honour,

I am the most offending soul alive

No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England

God’s peace! I would not lose so great an honour

As one man more, methinks, would share from me

For the best hope I have O, do not wish one more!Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,That he which hath no stomach to this fight,

Let him depart His passport shall be made,

And crowns for convoy put into his purse

We would not die in that man’s company

That fears his fellowship to die with us

This day is call’d the feast of Crispian

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,Will stand a tip-toe when this day is named,

And rouse him at the name of Crispian

He that shall live this day, and see old age,

Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,

And say, “To-morrow is Saint Crispian.”

Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,And say, “These wounds I had on Crispian’s day.”Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,

But he’ll remember with advantages

What feats he did that day Then shall our names,Familiar in his mouth as household words,

Harry the King, Bedford, and Exeter,

Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,

Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb’red

This story shall the good man teach his son;

And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be remembered,

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,

This day shall gentle his condition;

And gentlemen in England now a-bed

Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day"

people the way that Henry V did in the movie I later returned to the course and realizedthat while the course was trying to teach me to be a Manager, in fact I wanted to be

something quite different I wanted to be a Leader

I learnt a valuable lesson that day I learnt that Leadership and management are

completely different Management is about having the responsibility for and control overpeople and resources in order to achieve an objective while Leadership is in fact about

influencing those around in order to achieve a common objective I have never forgotten thislesson and it is one of the key messages that I pass along to any prospective Leader

While over the years I learnt that Leadership can come in many different styles,

sometimes subtle leadership can be the most effective option I have never forgotten

Leadership is all about inspiring people I was inspired by the words written by someonewho was born the same day as me 407 years prior, William Shakespeare and

demonstrated passionately by the leadership role played by Henry V So think about whatyou can achieve as a leader and maybe you will be able to leave a legacy that will inspirepeople many years after you have gone

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves” – William Shakespeare

When you become a Manager the workplace changes People talk to you differently, yourwork changes and now the problems that staff have suddenly become your problems aswell Before you realise it you are fully entrenched in the management bubble You begin tosee the workplace differently from the way your team sees it This is a risky and dangerousplace to be if you are making decisions based on your perspective only I’ve learnt fromyears of experience that there are three things every manager should never forget if theywant to remain successful and out of the managerial bubble

I arrived in New Zealand ten years ago from the UK when I was thirty one Up until thatstage I had spent the majority of my career since I was eighteen as a Manager in variousindustries yet when I came to New Zealand I left my career behind and wanted to start anew life with my girlfriend (who is now my wife) and have a better work-life balance than Iever did in London

I thought to myself that after thirteen years of managing people I may not be given anopportunity as a manager easily in a new country so I applied for a non-managerial role Igot lucky when I succeeded in persuading a photo-copying company that I wasn’t

overqualified and I had left my career as a Manager behind me I spent a year not

managing people and to my amazement when I was outside of that management bubble Ilearnt more about managing people than I did in my previous twelve years as a Manager.Here are the three lessons that I learnt and have never forgotten

You are not as important as you think you are

In my experience it seems to me that sometimes the same drive that compels peopletowards a career in management is the same factor that prevents them from being qualityleaders I’m referring to the drive to be the hero that saves the day I remember as a

teenager watching Henry V and being inspired by the King’s speech to his men on the evebefore the final battle, listening to the St Crispin’s day speech “We few, we happy few, weband of brothers” it made me want to be a leader Many years later upon reflection I

realised that I actually wanted to be a hero more than a leader At that time I thought theywere both the same A management career would allow me the opportunity to be this hero.However, a leader is not necessarily a hero nor a manager A manager is not half as

important to a team as is a leader A true leader is something much more They becomethe person that people need them to be and sometimes that is not the person that a hero or

a manager wants to be

You are not as clever as you think you are

It is a common misconception that as the manager you are the most important part of theteam yet the truth is actually quite the opposite Yes you might get paid more than the

cleaner but that is because your skill-set is rarer than the person who cleans the toilets sotherefore more valuable but just imagine if you and the cleaner were out of the office for aweek – who would be missed more?

The role of the manager is not to be the centre of all things or even to be at the top of thepyramid, it is to provide direction and create an environment that allows people to perform

at their optimum level When a decision is made it is made by the person who has all thenecessary information, experience and objectivity in order to make the correct decision.That will not always be the Manager

You are not as funny as you think you are

On the first day of the job as “one of the team” after 13 years of being the “boss” I cameacross the most painful realisation of all and that was I wasn’t as funny as I thought I was.This was a painful blow but made me realise just how much of an impact the word

‘Manager” has on the people who work with you and how they interact No one laughed at

my jokes readily anymore I had to work much harder to be the likable hero I thought I was

I wasn’t sad because I wasn’t funny anymore It was the realisation that people never feltthey could be themselves in the office or be completely honest in front of their manager.This more than anything made me realise just how far I was away from being a leader

My year outside of the management bubble taught me a lot and even though my passionfor leadership was reignited and I have been in senior management roles since, I’m proud

to say that I have never once fallen into that management bubble again

Never forget that the role of the Manager is never to be the centre of the universe butmerely a guide so that your teams can find the path that they need to follow In the words

of Lao Tzu:

To lead people walk beside them

As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence

The next best, the people honour and praise

The next, the people fear;

And the next, the people hate

When the best leader’s work is done the people say

“We did it ourselves”

This morning before I went to work I saw an FA Cup football match live from the UnitedKingdom The match pitted on-league Mansfield Town playing against one of the giants ofthe game, Liverpool To illustrate the difference between the two sides there are 93 placesseparating the two The game was expected to be a rout with a score line of 6-0 or 7-0 toLiverpool as a likely outcome I watched the game from about half-time and Mansfield wasonly 1-0 down and surprisingly taking the game to their more illustrious opponents With athird of the game to go Liverpool attacked the Mansfield penalty box, and the ball went

through to the Liverpool striker Luis Suarez who illegally controlled the ball with his hand andscored Liverpool eventually won the game 2-1 After the game Brendan Rogers, the

Manager of Liverpool defended his player and stated it wasn’t his fault and it was up to thematch officials to stop such cheating

The match generated much debate afterwards with people falling into two camps Thefirst were offended that Suarez deliberately cheated and that he should have owned up,they felt that being a good honest person was more important than winning a football game,while the other camp felt it was fine because it’s all about winning, and winning should beabout winning at all costs This raised an interesting question

Is winning at all costs worth it?

There is an age old saying "all is fair in love and war" but is it?

If you believe in winning at all costs then you may have won the battle but have lost thewar or the very purpose for what you have been fighting for In terms of sports a playermay have just lost his credibility and with that fans, future contracts, sponsorships and othermatch opportunities to prove himself and his talent He may have killed his career before itbegan

When I was younger I worked as a Broker Sales Manager in a Finance house in London.The environment was all about getting the deal at all costs and I along with a lot of youngmen at the time did exactly that We got the deal and if it cost us our friends, our girlfriends

or even our family we did just that It was all about money and all about winning I was

about the same age as Luis Suarez and to be honest I loved the brutal raw competition butlooking back now I was wrong Winning without honour is not worth it and the reason for

my answer may not be what you first think of

If you win without honour you have already lost, you just don’t realise it yet

The people, who feel that you should be prepared to win without honour and at all costs,tend to think this way because their mentality doesn’t match their own ethical and moralbeliefs This demonstrates conflict within themselves generating negative energy bringingthem down in the long term The majority of people believe that winning without honour isjust not the right way to approach life because it's "not right" there is another reason whyhonour is so important The reason why you should compete with a strict ethical code isbecause that is the only way you will realise your full potential Let me explain why.

Nearly every successful person is driven by some demons, whether those demons weregenerated by the need for revenge, or idealism or just plain survival They have this hungerthat the majority of people haven’t yet when you meet the very best, I mean the world-classsuccessful people, the best of the best people who are fulfilling their complete potential,and they have something extra Deep down they are all nice people; they have a

manageable ego and come across as genuinely nice people

They still have their demons driving them but they are kept in check by their moral beliefsand their code of honour They have a clear conscience and are effectively guided by theirinner angels which mean they are able to fully focus without any of the self-doubts that

naturally come with these motivating demons

Warren Buffet, who is widely considered to be the successful investor in the 20th century,has commonly sealed deals with just a handshake

Anderson Silva, the UFC Middleweight Champion of the world and widely considered thegreatest mixed martial artist in history is well known for valuing his code of honour above allelse

Lionel Messi, The Barcelona and Argentina forward and best footballer in the world

recently said; “I am more worried about being a good person than being the best footballplayer in the world When all this is over, what are you left with?”

What these legendary world-class professionals share is the ability to maintain an

intensity and focus that the majority of people can’t, while the demons bring the intensity it’sthe inner angels that bring the focus The amazing thing is that this isn’t a modern

realisation In ancient Japan Samurais lived by the code of Bushido “way of the warrior” aset of principles that defined their code of honour Even earlier in medieval Europe, Knightshad their own code of honour The trend continues today you will not find an elite militaryforce without a strict ethical code

The key to fulfilling your potential is to get your inner demons and angels to work togetherhand-in-hand

In conclusion not only are there strong moral arguments to support winning without honour

is not the correct path, there is also compelling evidence to suggest that without honouryou can never ever win against the toughest opponent you will ever face That opponentquite simply is you To win against others you must first win against yourself By this I meanyou are in complete control of the demons within you that would otherwise create conflictcausing you to choose the wrong path to failure as opposed to success

A common failing with most businesses is that the majority of Managers that are hired areusually subject-matter experts with little to no people management experience They areusually bright, hardworking people who initially struggle in the role because they are

exposed to the leadership elements of the Manager’s role that they wouldn’t have had

experience or training to carry out

I remember talking to a young Manager who was close to quitting because he found thepeople aspect of the job just so difficult I recall him stating to me that being a Managerwould be so much easier if people weren’t involved It’s a statement that I’ve heard all toooften from new Managers who are not getting the support from their organisation that theyshould get

Leadership, the ability to influence those around you in order to achieve a common

objective is done by applying skills such as communication, motivation, story-telling, conflictmanagement and performance management among others All of these skills are so vital for

a new Manager that they can’t succeed without them yet very rarely are training for theseskills offered to new Managers More often than not Managers have to learn these skillsthemselves and often through painful trial and error

Companies could save themselves a fortune by investing in some Leadership coaching fortheir managers as in most cases just a few sessions with a Leadership coach can providethe basic tools and lessons that every new manager needs to learn in order to be

successful These are some of those lessons

You don’t have to change who you are

The path to true Leadership is about discovering who you really are as opposed to

becoming who you want to be

A common mistake made by new Managers is that they seem to think that they have tobecome a certain kind of person After over twenty years of developing Managers and

Leaders I can assure you that Managers come in all shapes, sizes and personality types.Some are quiet, some are loud some are energetic cheerleaders while some are reserved.While everyone is different, each one can bring value as a Manager You are in this rolepartly because of who you are as a person and yes like everyone you can improve but atthe end of the day you have to be you

You are not indispensable and maybe not even the most important member of your team

All failed Managers at one time felt they were indispensable

The old pyramid structure of responsibility, with the Manager at the top with staff

underneath is outdated A lot of companies still use this but it’s not the most effective

system out there It’s based on the theory that the Manager is always in the best position tomake decisions but if you are looking at any team structure of more than six people thenthis theory becomes fundamentally flawed

In any decent sized team it’s impossible as well as impractical for any single person to be

an expert on all aspects of the business so there is always a risk that decisions can be

made without all of the necessary information Think of the times you have seen decisionsturn out to be wrong and then you hear from ground-level staff that they knew it would

never work

Decisions on a particular subject need to be made by an expert on that subject That

doesn’t necessarily have to be the Manager The Manager can put the decision within thecorrect context but they don’t have to be the decision maker

Just because you are top of an outdated structure don’t let that fool you into believing thatyou are indispensable or even the most valuable member of the team

You do not have all the answers

When a Manager asks for help, it should be considered a sign of strength rather than weakness

Similar to the previous lesson don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have been hired inorder to be an expert on all matters You have been hired to make things work, systems,processes and people It’s the people who will make the difference and biggest impact onyour businesses Whenever possible include them in decisions and you will find that not onlywill they feel more connected to the business you will have all the necessary information inorder to make the best decisions

Being popular is not the same as being respected

The aim of any leader is to give people what they need, not necessarily what they want

When I train new Managers I sometimes bring along a few experienced Managers to jointhem and to answer any questions I get the new Managers to compile a list of tasks thatthey feel will be the biggest challenges of being a Manager and I get the experienced

Managers to list the biggest challenges they faced in their first year The results are quiterevealing The new managers tend to consider the technical aspects of the job as

presenting the biggest challenges e.g report writing, strategy work yet the experiencedManagers consistently found that it was actually the people issues that presented the

largest challenges in particular dealing with the consequences of not feeling like one of theteam anymore Let me explain that further Managers are still part of the team yet the

experienced Managers found it challenging not being able to have the same open dialoguewith colleagues If they were angry with someone in the team they couldn’t share that withthe wider team, if they disagreed with a company decision they couldn’t openly criticise it

Unless you own the company you will find that as a Manager you will sometimes have tomake decisions that are in the best interest of the company but not of the individuals aroundyou There will be days that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few and onthese days you will become unpopular with some of your team

If you lose popularity then that is sometimes the price of making the right decision yetkeep any disagreements to yourself because if you lose people’s respect then the wholeeffectiveness of your role and the team as a whole is challenged

People will not naturally share your passion

Share your vision and people will know how to follow, share your passion and people will lead the way

When you see a team that is together, works hard and is incredibly passionate aboutwhat they are trying to achieve, you will find a manager who has utilised their Leadershipskills to create an environment which makes this possible This doesn’t happen by accident

If you want your team to feel the same passion that you do then you need to learn the coreleadership skills

Performance issues will not sort themselves out

Courage is not a desirable quality of a leader, it’s an essential quality

When I coach new Managers I often hear about the challenges they have with confrontingpeople over performance Some people feel they could make matters worse if they

approach the topic while others are just honest about despising conflict and some lie tothemselves when they say they are not going to confront the issue because it will sort itselfout You are crazy if you think this approach will work If by any small chance it does thenyou need to leave work and buy a lottery ticket because you are incredibly lucky otherwiseyou have to face up to reality that dealing with poor performance is not a choice, it’s yourjob If you don’t like it then get another job

The fact that people are not questioning your decisions is not a good thing

All positive change comes as a consequence of some kind of open conflict

On the surface this doesn’t seem connected to the previous lesson but it is People areweary of conflict yet healthy conflict should actually be encouraged in a team Conflict is anessential element of change as long as the conflict is positive in line with the objective, isopen, face-to-face and with respect When I look back on my first few years of

management the most common theme of any mistake I made was the lack of conflict If Imade decisions which were incorrect, the people around me knew but didn’t say anythingbecause I didn’t create an atmosphere where they felt their comments would be listened towith an open mind and with respect I was left to learn from my mistakes Let your teamknow its ok to tell you if something might be wrong or if there is a better way of doing

something After all you would not be working as a team if they didn't get completely andpassionately involved

Taking on the role and responsibilities of a Managerial role is difficult but if you look at theleadership aspect of your new role for what it is - a series of tasks and behaviours that can

be learnt then you will be fine

The journey from subject matter expert is difficult but if you stay on the right path yourjourney will take you from Manager to Leader and then onto success

longer have to sit down at your desk and write a letter to express your anger Now socialmedia allows you to fully express your current train of thought no matter what it may be.

It has always amazed me just how angry people get When I left school I went and

worked in a Shoe shop in Birmingham in the United Kingdom As part of this role it wasn’tunusual that I had to deal with complaints and while the majority of people were reasonablethere was an group of people that dealt with the situation in a manner that could easily bedescribed as best as rude and at worst downright harassment A few years later I left andmoved to London and started a career in a Finance House Anyone who has worked for aFinance House, particularly in London will confirm just how much pressure is involved andthe stakes for the customer and the salesperson is high I started this role with a mixture ofexcitement and trepidation Excitement because here I was, a working class boy from

Birmingham working in a London Finance House yet concerned about just how bad the

complaints were going to be Considering how angry people got over shoes I couldn’t

imagine how angry people would get over million dollar deals To my surprise the level ofanger, ( borderline ) hatred was the same It didn’t seem that it was the issue that decidedthe level of anger, it was something else, but what?

This question has puzzled me and during my twenty two years of management I haveseen staff, managers and customers react differently to situations Some approach with ahigh level of emotional intelligence and maturity while others just seem to hate the world andeverything in it During my time I’ve seen haters fall into one of three categories

The Victim

“My life is so bad”

When faced with adversity you can do one of two things You can either learn and evolvefrom the adversity or one can do what these “victims” do and allow the adversity to define

them Whatever the nature of the adversity may be, whether it’s losing your job, health

issues or even experiencing bad relationships when people become defined by this

adversity they then find it difficult to view themselves as anything but a victim They starthating anything that challenges that perception I’ve even seen “victims” who are so unable

to cope with the unnatural state of happiness they feel unable to define themselves so

instead of trying to evolve and adapt they sub-consciously self-sabotage their life

The Underachiever

“I’m just so unlucky”

Not all of us are going to be millionaires or win an Olympic medal or become a world

champion in sports For those few people who do, the reason behind their success is amultitude of reasons – natural ability, passion, desire, a level of intensity and focus that themajority of us couldn’t comprehend, hard work and yes luck Every successful person has

an element of luck but it’s a minor factor in any success story, yet sometimes the

underachievers in this world live in a belief that the only reason they are not unsuccessful isbecause of bad luck and nothing else “If only I had that break, if only I had the right

connections, went to the right school, had a bit more luck." This is a comfortable world

which can only be maintained if everyone around them that achieves success is broughtdown, either by dismissing the success as irrelevant or convincing themselves that its onlyluck that separates them from the successful person The strange thing is a lot of “under-achievers” do actually have some level of success but their ego refuses to recognise it

The Princess / The Hero

“Everyone loves me”

Usually these types of people were starved of affection and love during their former

years As a result they found a way to receive affection that has sub-consciously continued

to seek the same type of affection during their lives In males this is normally evident whenthey found that protecting, looking after people got them affection from others and this ishow they perceive love In females it’s usually excessive or inappropriate flirting in order toattract attention or seeking out people to “save them” from a horrible situation and

sometimes it’s a combination of both The scary thing is that these people tend to be

attracted to each other with the princess wanting the hero to save her only to find that whenthey are together they fall out of their roles The princess no longer needs saving and thehero has no-one to save The movie is over When this uncomfortable situation occurs againthe sub-conscious hungers for its natural state so the hero finds ways to rescue the

princess by verbally putting her down and the princess sub-consciously responds by

seeking a new hero to rescue her from her former hero turned villain While hating the

former partner, the new person in her life is a hero who turns villain resulting in hating a newperson An endless destructive cycle of a relationship that never works

In all three cases their perception of the world and their place within that world is to themsuch a strong reality that they hate anything that challenges their belief in that reality,

stimulating negative emotional responses

In my experience it seems the haters of this world are just so angry mainly due to a poorself-management of their ego During the infant years the psyche survival mechanism is tonormalise all observed and experienced behaviour This continues until the child developsthe ability to reason These experiences create the core of the person and as the majority

of us do not have perfect childhoods there are breaks within this core and as we get olderthe core is surrounded by layers of learned behaviour Our belief system is influenced byour immediate friends and family All these layers combined with the core influence our sub-conscious decision making process which enables us to react instinctively to any situationbased on our view of the world The majority of healthy people understand the limitations ofour ego and that our perception of the world is just that – a perception While all peoplemake mistakes and act in ways that they soon regret it is the haters of this world that

constantly react in unhealthy negative emotional ways because they do not see the worldfor what it is When something happens that challenges their view of the world they reactwith hate It’s not because they actually want to hate, it’s because they want to fight andovercome but they don’t know the difference between the two

So when the next time you come into contact with some hatred from either someone line or even someone close to you just remember that we should not loath the haters of thisworld or even dislike them but instead we should feel sorry for them and offer our

on-forgiveness because without help they will always walk in the darkness of their own

perception of the world and they will never see the world for just how beautiful it actually is

“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it Hatreddarkens life; love illuminates it” – Martin Luthor King

Miyamoto Mushashi, one of the most famous samurais of all time wrote “Once you

understand the way broadly, you can see it in all things” he believed that if you could

achieve excellence in one thing then you could use those same lessons to achieve

excellence in all things Not only was Miyamoto Mushashi an expert swordsman, he wasalso highly skilled in calligraphy, painting, ceremonial tea drinking and was the author ofone of the most influential books of all time “The Book of Five Rings” but more about

Miyamoto Mushashi will come later

When you hear the word “samurai” images come to mind of brave noble warriors thatstruck fear in the hearts of their enemies The Samurai warrior was the elite soldier in

feudal Japan, the very best of the best A vital component of being a samurai was theiradherence to a code of honour known as Bushido This was more than just a set of rules.Bushido was set of guidelines on a way of life that was central to their very existence

For Samurai the Bushido code was typified by seven virtues

conduct is? I guarantee you not many That is because we use our modern code of

conducts as a set of rules instead of what they are meant to be and that is, a way of life.Imagine what your organisation could achieve if your employees have the same mental

approach of a samurai It’s fair to say that it’s highly unlikely that you will ever end up withemployees that would kill themselves if they breach the code but if people can see beyondthe rules and appreciate the way of life you are trying to create then you will be on the way

to success

A code of conduct should be more than a set of rules; it has to be a way of life.

A similar principle was a Samurai’s loyalty to their master even to such a degree that inthe event of their master’s death a Samurai would chose ritual suicide (oibara seppuku)rather than carry on

During this time there were a few Samurai that did the seemingly unthinkable and chose

to live on after their master’s death These samurai were cast out from the group in shameand were given the status of “Ronin” Miyamoto Mushashi, the greatest Samurai of all timewas a Ronin

Miyamoto Mushashi lived from 1584 to 1645 He had several masters but still lived by avery strict code of honour He defied convention and travelled far and wide seeking out

other warriors to duel, testing himself, challenging himself in order to master his craft,

Musashi is said to have fought over 60 duels and was never defeated

Every day strive to be better than the day before.

Miyamoto Mushashi achieved this remarkable feat by training every day working on histechnique to make himself better, almost perfect Perfection seems impossible but everyday he got better than he was the day before He used every second of his life, every

moment he had to become better It wasn’t a job it was a way of life Ask yourself what youcould achieve if you had the same approach?

“Study strategy over the years and achieve the spirit of the warrior Today is victory overyourself of yesterday, tomorrow is your victory over lesser men” – Miyamoto Mushashi

With the terms ‘Manager” and “Leader” becoming so interchangeable over the years

people have often mistaken the differences between a Manager and a Leader, yet they aretwo very different roles

Managers:

Control or direct resources to achieve goals

Values and principles of the team are already established

Maintains the status quo

Managers have subordinates

Leaders:

Influence people to achieve goals

Sets a vision for the team to follow

Challenges the status quo

Leaders have followers

Everyone in a managerial role requires both managerial and leadership skills in order toperform their role adequately but it’s the leadership qualities that allow teams to perform at

the truly elite level If you are still unsure about the importance of leadership then think ofthe events of August 28th 1963, the height of the civil rights movement in America and onthe steps of the Lincoln memorial when Martin Luthor King steps up to talk to 200,000 civilrights supporters and delivers his “I have a dream” speech.

‘I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not bejudged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character I have a dream

How does a Manager become a leader?

Everyone in a managerial position has been given an element of power from the companythey are employed by This power grants the Manager influence over the people aroundthem The path that takes someone from being a Manager to being a Leader involves

understanding where that power comes from and how to use it in the most effective way

So where does this power come from?

Why do people listen to Managers?

In 1959 social psychologists John French and Bertram Raven conducted work on thebasis of power What they found was that there were five bases for power In other wordsthere are five fundamental reasons why we do something when people tell us to

Legitimate power – This happens when someone performs a task for the Manager

because there is an expectation for them to do so They are responding to the position as

opposed to the individual.

Reward power – This power occurs when someone performs the tasks because they

want the reward that results from the completion of that task The simplest example is

doing something because you get paid for doing it

Coercive power – This is the other side of the coin to reward power This is when

people perform a task because they want to avoid the consequences of not performing thattask

The three bases for power are more traditionally described as managerial tasks as theycome from the establishment of a managerial position and as well as the structure of

performance measures, employment contracts and code of conduct policies The next twobases of power come from the personal qualities of the Manager

Expert power – This power comes from a person’s knowledge or expertise People are

inclined to perform tasks given to them from someone who they perceive to an expert Anexample of this would be people following instructions given to them by a lawyer or doctor

Referent power – This power is often regarded as the influence personality, or charm.

People perform tasks when they like or have personal admiration for the person that hasgiven the task Effectively leading via a "cult of personality."

Managerial based Personal based

Legitimate power Expert power

Reward power Referent power

Coercive power

The natural focus of any management role pulls us towards a managerial approach todealing with people In order to become a leader you have to link the coercive and rewardpowers to their referent power and this therefore ends up moving the balance towards thepersonal based powers You may be asking what this actually means Well the path

towards becoming a leader is a long one and each of us has our own individualistic uniquepath but there are some consistent steps that all leaders have to follow

The path towards leadership

The first step that any leader should take is to become aware of how they naturally react

to situations A lot of people gain this understanding through maturity but there are a lot ofpsychometric tools available which assist with understanding of behavioural preferences Ipersonally recommend using the Step II Myers-Briggs indicator (MBTI), as long as youhave an experienced practitioner who interprets the results for you

Establishing a level of self-awareness is a vital building block for any leader and enablesthem to easily adapt their behaviour so that they can chose the behaviour to suit the

situation

Advanced communication

Any message can be interpreted in so many ways by the listener A group of people can

be at the same meeting but can come out with different impressions A Leader learns how

to communicate in a way that the listener will understand so that the message is as

effective as possible

Conflict management

Conflict is a natural process and one which the majority of Managers avoid yet conflictcan be a positive emotion and an incredible catalyst for change Leaders encourage conflictand manage that conflict in such a way that it becomes an essential tool for any team

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“What I call the void is where nothing exists It is about things outside man's knowledge.

Of course the void does not exist By knowing what exists, you can know that which doesnot exist That is the void” – Miyamoto Mushashi (The book of five rings)

The path from being a Manager to becoming a Leader can be a long and rocky journeybut at the end you and your team will see the rewards Taking the first step can be adaunting task but if you are unsure then remember the words of Martin Luthor King

“Take the first step in faith You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the firststep