A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE NOVEL “THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER” BY NGỤY MỘNG HUYỀN AND HOÀNG văn PHƯƠNG (2001) USING PETER NEWMARK’S MODEL

THANG LONG UNIVERSITY ENGLISH DEPARTMENT --o0o--A TR--o0o--ANSL--o0o--ATION QU--o0o--ALITY --o0o--ASSESSMENT OF THE VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE NOVEL “THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER” BY NGỤY

THANG LONG UNIVERSITY ENGLISH DEPARTMENT

o0o A TR o0o ANSL o0o ATION QU o0o ALITY o0o ASSESSMENT OF THE VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE NOVEL

“THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER” BY NGỤY

MỘNG HUYỀN AND HOÀNG VĂN PHƯƠNG (2001) USING PETER NEWMARK’S MODEL

Supervisor: M.A Phạm Thái Sơn

Student code: A32979

Hanoi, May 2021

TABLE OF CONTENT

CHAPTER 1 THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK 2

1.1 Translation theory 2

1.1.1 Definition of translation 2

1.1.2 Translation methods 2

1.1.3 Translation Equivalence 3

1.1.3.1 Definition 3

1.1.3.2 Types of equivalence 4

1.2 Translation Quality Assessment 5

1.2.1 Definition 5

1.2.2 Translation Quality Assessment Model of Peter Newmark 5

CHAPTER 2 ASSESSMENT OF THE VIETNAMESE VERSION OF “THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER” BY NGỤY MỘNG HUYỀN AND HOÀNG VĂN PHƯƠNG USING PETER NEWMARK’S MODEL 6

2.1 A brief analysis of the source language text 6

2.1.1 The author’s purpose 6

2.1.2 Characterization of the readership 6

2.1.3 Translator’s purpose 7

2.2 The translator’s interpretation 7

2.2.1 The translator’s method 7

2.2.2 Omission of original text 7

2.3 Comparison of the translation with the original 8

2.3.1 The title 8

2.3.2 The structure 9

2.3.3 Proper names 10

2.3.3.1 People’s names 10

2.3.3.2 Geographical names 10

2.3.3.3 Other names 11

2.3.4 Some issues 11

2.3.4.1 Mistranslation 11

2.3.4.2 Sentences sound unnatural in the target language 11

2.4 An evaluation of the translation 12

2.5 Potential importance of the work within the target language culture 13

In the age of globalization, Vietnam has had the opportunities to raise the country’s economy

as well as the people’s living standard In the process of integration, Vietnam also adopted manyforeign literatures As there are an enormous amount of foreign literary works need to betranslated, the role of translation has become more and more important In order to catch up withthe development of society, translators have to prepare themselves with broad cultural and socialknowledge along with scrupulousness With hundreds of literary works published every year,translation quality control seems to be an impossible task Besides many highly recommendedtranslation works, there are still many poor-quality translation versions Fortunately, thetranslated version of “The adventures of Tom Saywer” by Ngụy Mộng Huyền and Hoàng VănPhương was not one of them Since the day of its released, this translated version has been trusted

by many book publishers However, it is not true to say that Ngụy Mộng Huyền and Hoàng VănPhương’s version has no drawbacks “The adventures of Tom Sawyer” by Mark Twain is a storyabout a boy growing up along the Mississippi River Everyone who read this book, either kids oradults, can enjoy and remember the pleasant time when they were young Therefore, thisassessment aim to focus on the evaluation of one particular literary translation in order to helpreaders and booklovers have a better comprehension of some models of translation qualityassessment initiated by notable linguists in the world such as Peter Newmark

The translation assessment model by Peter Newmark will be introduced and selected as themain way to evaluate Ngụy Mộng Huyền and Hoàng Văn Phương’s “The adventures of TomSawyer” translated version Through this model, we can discover the strengths and weaknesses oftranslation Moreover, future translators can learn from this translation and create morespectacular works

The study aims to:

 Assess the quality of the Vietnamese version of “The adventures of Tom Sawyer” fromthe theoretical framework developed by Peter Newmark

 Recommend some improvements for this translation

In order to achieve those goals, the study aims to answer these following questions:

 How good is the Vietnamese version of “The adventures of Tom Sawyer” according toPeter Newmark’s model?

 What recommendations can be made in order to improve the translated version?

CHAPTER 1 THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

1.1 Translation theory

1.1.1 Definition of translation

The term of translation itself has several meanings: it can refer to the general subject field, theproduct (the text that has been translated) or the process (the act of producing the translation,otherwise known as translating) The process of translation between two different writtenlanguages involves the translator changing an original written text (the source text or ST) in theoriginal verbal language (the source language or SL) into a written text (the target text or TT) in adifferent verbal language (the target language or TL)

There are some different definitions of translation In Approaches to Translation, Newmark(1982:7) states “Translation is a craft consisting in the attempt to replace a written messageand/or statement in one language by the same message and/or statement in another language.”According to Bell, R.T (1991:5), “Translation is the expression in another language (or TL) ofwhat has been expressed in another, SL, preserving semantic and stylistic equivalences.”

Translation is the replacement of a representation of a text in one language by a representation

of another equivalence in a second language (Hartman & Stock, 1972)

Translation consists in producing in the receptor language the closest natural equivalent of thesource language message, firstly in terms of meaning and secondly in term of style (Nida

&Taber, 1974:12)

It is observed that the above definitions by different scholars in different times include the twosignificant factors: the qualities of the original text conveying meaning, style, syntactic andpragmatic issues, and the equivalence in the translation

1.1.2 Translation methods

Newmark (1988) suggests eight methods of translation as followed:

Source Language Emphasis Target Language Emphasis

Word-for-word translation Adaptation

Literal translation Free translation

Faithful translation Idiomatic translation

Semantic translation Communicative translation

Word-for-word translation: the SL word-order is preserved, and the words translated singly by

their most common meanings, out of context Cultural words are translated literally

Literal translation: the SL grammatical construction are converted to their nearest TL

equivalents, but the lexical words are again translated singly, out of context

Faithful translation: a faithful translation attempts to reproduce the precise contextual

meaning of the original within the constraints of the TL grammatical structures Its attempts to becompletely faithful to the intentions and the text-realization of the SL writer

Semantic translation: semantic translation differs from “faithful translation” only in as far as it

must take more account of the aesthetic value It may translate less important cultural words byculturally neutral third or functional terms but not by cultural equivalents The distinctionbetween ‘faithful’ and ‘semantic’ translation is that the first is uncompromising and dogmatic,while the second is more flexible, admits the creative exception to 100% fidelity and allows forthe translator’s intuitive empathy with the original

Communicative translation: communicative translation attempts to render the exact contextual

meaning of the original in such a way that both content and language are readily acceptable andcomprehensible to the readership

Idiomatic translation: idiomatic translation reproduces the ‘message’ of the original but tends

to distort nuances of meaning by preferring colloquialisms and idioms where these do not exist inthe original

Free translation: free translation reproduces the matter without the manner, or the content

without the form of the original Usually, it is a paraphrase much longer than the original, a called ‘intra-lingual translation’, often prolix and pretentious, and not translation at all

so-Adaption: this is the ‘freest’ form of translation It is used mainly for plays and poetry; themes,

characters, plots are usually preserved, the SL culture converted to the TL culture and the textrewritten (1988: 45-47)

“SL and TL texts or items are translation equivalents when they are interchangeable in a givensituation.” (Catford, 1965:49)

Newmark (1995:48) states that “The overriding purpose of any translation should be toachieve equivalent effect, i.e to produce the same effect (or one as close as possible) on thereadership of the translation as was obtained on the readership of the original.” In this statement,

Newmark emphasizes the importance of the functional equivalence as “the overriding purpose ofany translation.”

1.1.3.2 Types of equivalence

Translation theorists tend to classify equivalence in accordance with different criteria andapproach Some of the most outstanding ones are form-based, meaning-based, function-based andquantitative equivalence

 Form-based Equivalence

An extremely interesting discussion of the notion of equivalence can be found in Baker (1992)who seems to offer a more detailed list of conditions upon which the concept of equivalence can

be defined She distinguishes between:

 Equivalence that can appear at word level and above word level, when translating fromone language into another This means that the translator should pay attention to a number offactors when considering a single word, such as number, gender and tense (1992:11-12)

 Textual equivalence, when referring to the equivalence between a SL text and a TL text

in terms of information and cohesion It is up to the translator to decide whether or not tomaintain the cohesive ties as well as the coherence of the SL text His or her decision will beguided by three main factors, that is, the target audience, the purpose of the translation and thetext type

 Meaning-based Equivalence

Koller (1979) considers five type of equivalence:

 Denotative equivalence: the SL and the TL words refer to the same thing in the real

world

 Connotative equivalence: this type of equivalence provides additional value besides

denotative value and is achieved by the translator’s choice of synonymous words orexpressions

 Text-normative equivalence: the SL and the TL words are used in the same or similar

context in their respective languages

 Pragmatic equivalence: with readership orientation, the SL and TL words have the same

effect on their respective readers

 Formal equivalence: this type of equivalence produces an analogy of form in the

translation by their exploiting formal possibilities of TL or creating new forms in TL

 Function-based Equivalence

Nida (1974) distinguishes formal equivalence and dynamic translation as basic orientationsrather than as a binary choice:

 Formal equivalence is achieved when the SL and TL words have the closest possiblematch of form and content

 Dynamic equivalence is achieved when the SL and TL words have the same effect ontheir effective readers

 Quantitative Equivalence

On the world level, Hann (1992, in Baker, 2005:78) classifies equivalence relationships into:

 One-to-one equivalence: a single expression in TL is equivalence to a single expression

in SL

 One-to-many equivalence: more than one TL expressions are equivalent to a single SL

expression

 Many-to-one equivalence: there is more than one expression in the source language but

there is a single expression in target language which is equivalence to them

 One-to-part-of-one equivalence: A TL expression covers part of a concept designated by

a single SL expression

 Nil equivalence: no TL expression is equivalent to a single SL expression; therefore,

loaned/borrowed equivalents should be used

1.2 Translation Quality Assessment

1.1.1 Definition

In his book, A Textbook of Translation, Peter Newmark, names translation quality assessment

as translation criticism, and defines it as essential link between translation theory and its practice

1.2.1 Translation Quality Assessment Model of Peter Newmark

Newmark (1988) gives his own model of translation quality assessment called

“comprehensive criticism of a translation” including five practical steps which will be applied inevaluating a specific translated version in this assessment

 Step1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects.This step may include a statement of the author’s purpose, that is, the attitude he makestowards the topic; characterization of the readership; an indication of its category and type

 Step 2: the translation’s interpretation of the SL text’s purpose, the translation methodand the translation’s likely readership

 Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with theoriginal in terms of both semantics and syntactic You do not take the points successively; yougroup them selectively under general heads: the title; the structure, including the paragraphing

and sentence connectives; proper names; culture words; shifty metaphors; translationese;neologisms; ‘untranslated’ words; ambiguity; level of language; where relevant, meta-language, puns, sound effect.

 Step 4: an evaluation of the translation: in the translator’s terms, in the critic’s terms, as

a piece of writing, independently of its original

 Step 5: where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in thetarget language culture or discipline In the case of a serious text, say a novel, a poem, or animportant bool, you assess the work’s potential importance within the target language culture

ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER” BY NGỤY MỘNG HUYỀN AND HOÀNG VĂN PHƯƠNG USING PETER NEWMARK’S MODEL

In this chapter, the translated version of “The adventures of Tom Sawyer” will be evaluated by

using Peter Newmark’s model in the following steps:

2.1 A brief analysis of the source language text

In the book “A textbook of translation”, Peter Newmark states that “In your analysis of the SLtext, you may include a statement of the author’s purpose, that is, the attitude he takes towardsthe topic; characterization of the readership; an indication of its category and type You assess thequality of the language to determine the translator’s degree of license, assuming for example that

he can reduce cliché to natural language in informative but not in authoritative texts You brieflystate the topic or themes, but do not precis the text and do not ‘plot-monger’ (painfully retell theplot)” Therefore, this study will give a brief analysis of the statement of the author’s purpose,characterization of the readership, and an indication of its category and type

2.1.1 The author’s purpose

Mark Twain is an American humorist and novelist who acquired international fame for histravel narratives His books are mostly about the boyhood adventure and commentary on man’sfaults that is humorous even while it probes, often bitterly, the roots of human behavior Some of

his popular works include “The adventures of Tom Sawyer” and its sequel “Adventures of

Huckleberry Finn” have been translated into many languages “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer”

has stood the test of time because Twain's perceptive and humorous portrayal of young boys is soperfect and so universal Twain's sarcastic humor keeps the proceedings from ever seemingprecious or teachy; Tom is a realistic character who could exist in any time, and his story is full

of engaging slapstick and excitement The book may offend readers because of the author's use of

bigoted language, including the "N" word However, Mark Twain later stated in “Adventures of

Huckleberry Finn” that readers should keep an open mind to understanding the difference

between the worldview of the author and that of his characters

2.1.2 Characterization of the readership

Anyone who loves reading books, especially picaresque and satire books would be keen onreading this famous story Mark Twain wrote this story not only for children but also for adults

He called his book “a song of childhood that has been transformed into prose” He wantedanyone who reads this, either young or old, can enjoy the exciting adventures and remember thetime when they were young Readers can see themselves through the character Tom Sawyer andunderstand the world around a child as well as children’s mind

2.1.3 Translator’s purpose

In this step, the study aims to find out which translation method has been used Additionally,the study also reviews whether the translators have misinterpreted the author by omitting certainparts of the original text and whether it affects the author’s message

2.2 The translator’s interpretation

In this second step, the study reviews whether the translator has omitted any parts of sourcetext and whether it affects the message that the author wishes to express The study also wishes tofind out the method of translation

1.1.1 The translator’s method

Since the book is for children, the author mostly used simple words and colloquial As “Theadventures of Tom Sawyer” was written in 1876, the author used American vernaculars As aresult, translators are required to have a broad knowledge of American cultures, society andlanguage in the 19th century Therefore, translating Mark Twain’s book is considered a difficultprocess The Vietnamese version of “The adventures of Tom Sawyer” by Ngụy Mộng Huyềnand Hoàng Văn Phương was the first translated edition The two translators have combinedseveral translation methods in this version However, the most common translation methodapplied is communicative translation

2.2.1 Omission of original text

After carefully reading and analyzing the original text and its Vietnamese version by NgụyMộng Huyền and Hoàng Văn Phương, some words and phrases have not been translated

1

“Cardiff Hill, beyond the village and above

it, was green with vegetation and it lay just

far enough away to seem a Delectable

Land, dreamy, reposeful, and inviting.

“Đồi Carđip sừng sững ở phía cuối làng, cây cối xanh um, xa xa trông có vẻ là một nơi tuyệt thú đầy thơ mộng, yên tĩnh, như chào đón mọi người đến dạo chơi.”

2 “Bringing water from the town pump had always been hateful work in Tom’s eye,

before, but now it did not strike him so.”

“Xưa nay Tom vẫn coi việc phải đi lấy nước ở máy ngoài phố là một công việc rất đáng ghét, nhưng giờ đây Tom lại không nghĩ như thế nữa.”

“And he remembered that although the

pump was only a hundred and fifty yards

off, Jim never got back with a bucket of

water under an hour ”

“Và Tom nhớ máy nước chỉ cách nhà chừng trăm rưởi thước, nhưng mỗi chuyến Jim đi lấy nước về bao giờ cũng phải mất ítnhất một tiếng đồng hồ”

4

“Oh, never you mind what she said, Jim

That’s the way she always talks Gimme

the bucket – I won’t be gone only a a

minute She won’t ever know.”

“Bà nói thế nào mặc bà Bao giờ bà chả nóithế Chú Jim cứ đưa cái xô đây Tôi chỉ đi một phút thôi Bà biết đấy là đâu.”

5 “She talks awful, but talk don’t hurt –

anyways it don’t if she don’t cry.”

“Bà chỉ được cái nói nghe thì ghê gớm lắm, nhưng chỉ nói suông thế thôi thì việc cóc gì – dù sao bà cũng không quát tháo

ầm lên thì việc gì mà sợ?”

Some words and phrases omitted in TT may be of negligible significance The omission ofthese words and phrases did not affect the meaning of the sentence and the author’s message Itcan be seen that the translator has unintentionally or deliberately left out quite many words Insome cases, the omission of the words has no significant impact on the general meaning of thesentence This kind of translating is still acceptable However, it seems insupportable in othercases not translating some important words or phrases, which affects the sequence ofunderstanding of readers who only have chance to read the Vietnamese version

2.3 Comparison of the translation with the original

This third section is the heart of the critique, considers how the translator has solved the

particular problems of the SL text (Newmark, 1988: 87) They are grouped selectively under

general heads: the title, the structure, proper names, culture words A discussion of translationproblems will also be presented in this part

1.1.1 The title

Generally, translating titles is not simple Peter Newmark (1988:56) argued that the translatedtitle “should usually bear some relation to the original, if only for identification”, but it shouldalso “sound attractive, allusive, suggestive” to attract the potential readers In some cases, the title

is the very first thing that the potential readers see and then put in their consideration of whether

or not they will buy the novels

Newmark (1988: 56 & 57) suggested that all titles are either descriptive (“which describe thetopic of the text”) or allusive (“which have some kind of referential or figurative relationship tothe topic”) The latter ones are suitable for imaginative literature and may have to be changed.However, for serious imaginative literature, he thinks a descriptive title should be “literally” kept,and an allusive title literally or, where necessary, imaginatively preserved

The book was named “The adventures of Tom Sawyer” and was translated into “Những cuộcphiêu lưu của Tom Sawyer” According to Oxford Learner’s Dictionary, “adventure” is defined as anunusual, exciting or dangerous experience, journey or series of events In Vietnamese, its equivalents